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TITLE OF THE STORY : LOST IN YOU AUTHOR :Savannah_Rose101 REVIEWED BY : CARINO
TITLE AND COVER :
When I saw the title and the cover, I felt like it was about a girl who has faced some major type of trauma or is depressed but when I read the story, it was completely different. The girl in the story is sassy and complete opposite to the girl in the cover. Since one of your story's subplot is revenge, I would suggest you to change your cover to a more badass type.
BLURB :
Your blurb was perfect with the adequate amount of info provided. I personally love how you use an excerpt from your story in the blurb. Good job for that.
DESCRIPTIONS :
I didn't find many description, again you didn't describe what the main characters look like. I had problem imagining James and Taylor. Instead of providing a picture of them, describe their appearance a bit. That would be more beneficial for you.
VOCABULARY :
The vocabulary was great...You knew the meaning of the words and how and where to put them. The vocabulary being wide was still understandable.
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION :
I didn't actually find any grammatical or punctuation errors. I can't believe how you wrote the whole smut without doing a single mistake. Good job with that.
PACE OF THE STORY :
One thing I found strange about the whole book is its pace. I think James is a love interest in the story and their love is rushed. In chapter 7, I just come to know that the main character has some sort of feelings for James and then the next second, I see them kissing. Take it slow girl, make the love bloom between them, make the readers feel the sexual tention, the affection, the love between them. Also I felt that in the chapter where she get scared of the men and out of frustration punches Liam, I felt like the scene came out of nowhere. I mean at first, you show us a brave and sassy girl and next you show us a scared and frightened girl. Try including her fear somewhere in the previous chapters.
FLOW OF THE STORY :
The flow of the story is good, the story seems to be planned. Well done.
CHARACTERS/DIALOGUES:
Believe me, all the characters were confusing. I don't know who the love interest it. At first I thought that maybe its Liam then I guessed that maybe its James and I'm still not certain about it. Liam's character : I, at point felt that he doesn't care about Taylor then later you show us how caring he is ( the scene where Taylor punches Liam ) Try to minimise switching between personalities. Taylor's character : Taylor's character was weird in itself. There must be a difference in the way she feels about the main and the side characters. She feels the same way about Liam and James which is he biggest flaw I noticed. When James and Taylor kiss, make it different from the Liam one. Make the readers feel that it was out of love and not out of force The scenes between Liam and Taylor is also weird. I mean the girl seems to enjoy being a prostitute and doing sex. Try to include POVs in which she feels bad about the job and is disgusted with those men. Another thing is that, I don't know why you showed the mother to be in the good side of Taylor. Make the readers feel angry towards her. When someone read a story, a lot of emotions hit his heart and you need to know how to control them. If you make a mistake in controlling their emotions, it will cost you and you'll end up losing readers. Dialogues : There weren't much dialogues until the 7th chapter. The one in the 7th chapter looked just like a real conversation and was beautifully written.
STORYLINE :
The storyline was perfect. It has a planned plot and highly unpredictable.
OVERALL ENJOYMENT :
I enjoyed reading this story and would love to read more from you.
POINTS :
Cover/Title : ( 4/10 ) Blurb : ( 8/10) Vocabulary : ( 10/10 ) Grammar/Punctuation : ( 9/10 ) Description : ( 5/10 ) Pace of the story : ( 3/10 ) Flow of the story : ( 9/10 ) Characters/Dialogues ( 4/10 ) Storyline : ( 10/10 ) Overall enjoyment ( 9/10 )
