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TITLE OF THE STORY : LOOKING FOR HOPE AUTHOR : NefertitiFenison REVIEWED BY : SAANU
TITLE/COVER :
The title is quite adequate for the book. It tells us about a girl who has her own insecurities and she is surrounded by a totally new world. Though the cover I think you might need to change that because it is not actually tuning in with the title. Perhaps if you can put the image of a girl, like how you imagined Moira to be with a look of hope, I think that will be better. I would give the title a 8/10 and for the cover 6/10. Maybe when and if you change it to an image of a girl you can blend in the universe in the background.
BLURB
The blurb is very interesting for those who found Sci-fi interesting. You have talked about the world obstacles Moira may face and all the new experiences she is having. I would give the blurb a 9/10.
STORYLINE :
The storyline is interesting considering you have created a totally new fictitious universe. That is something that has me really intrigued. Starting from her insecurities, Moira discovers herself is something that is inspiring and the various forms of education like courses we will never have in the near future is interesting. The technology is definitely interesting. But what I am really glad about is that the people of that era, even though they are centuries ahead, remember how to write a letter. I would give the storyline a 10/10.
VOCABULARY/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION:
So the vocabulary used in the story is perfect. Appropriate words just add that zing to the story. As such there are no grammatical errors and I have to say it is good. But when it comes to punctuation, make use of them. Break up the sentences more, avoid writing paragraphs that are too long. Break up the paragraphs as much as you can, especially in the prologue and the first chapter you might want to write shorter paragraphs when you are describing your world. For the vocabulary i would give you a 9/10 but unfortunately for the use of paragraphs, your writing style, and the use of punctuations i would have to give you a 5/10.
CHARACTERS/DIALOGUES :
Then again even the dialogues do not write too much content in one go. Also some of the dialogues I found were a bit rushed. So you need to see into that, otherwise the dialogues are very well written and for that a 7/10. As for the characters, I really love the unique names. Some of them are tongue rolling but they are just beautiful names, also a little sketch on how they look apart from the bubbly attitudes will give them an insight of how you imagined your characters to look. For this I would give you a 8/10.
DESCRIPTIONS :
This is a bang on 10/10. the world you have created is just amazing. You excelled in this part. The names you have come up with the Black Elm, The Red Sycamore, it’s just amazing. You have a really strong imagination power.
PACE :
The pace is good, it is not too rushed and not too slow. I would rate this as an 8/10.
FLOW OF THE STORY :
There are no complaints about the flow I should say it is quite very well planned out and decided. A 9/10
OVERALL ENJOYMENT :
I really enjoyed this book. It makes a really good impression on how the futuristic world will be. I really hope your story faces a rise in the list. Even the LGBTQ+ characters have made this story much more interesting
