Shards of Sanity (Book 6, Forgotten Series)

Chapter Nineteen

Three weeks later

The incident with Lilith had faded, much like the wounds left on me from her outburst. May had calmed her down, had gotten through to her and now Lilith was going to therapy regularly. I couldn't tell if it was helping or not but I did notice she seemed to be remembering more and more people in the pack more often. She still had episodes where she would dissociate and completely forget where she was or what was going on or who certain people were but she was trying.

It was hard to me to even think that but I could see it. She was trying very hard to fit in, to remember, and to work through the chaos of her mind. I didn't know how well it was working but she was trying and that was all I needed to feel proud of her. She was doing her best to hold onto her sanity and it made me endlessly proud of her. Despite it all she was trying to deal with what had been done to her, it might not have been working as well as some might have hoped but the fact she was trying was enough.

I had her in therapy with May three times a week. I figured it was a good amount and it did give me a good hour of the day where Lilith would stay in place and not wander off. I was surprised at just how much I could get done in that hour while she was in a place where someone was watching her the entire time and I didn't have to worry about where she was. I had actually gotten to where I could finish most, if not all, of my Beta duties in that one hour of truly free time that I had.

I was trying my best not to blame Lilith for not being able to do much while she was around. I had kept it in my head that she didn't have a choice in what happened to her and the results of that on her. It was difficult, I wasn't going to lie about that, but I did my best to keep that fact in mind when she wandered off or disassociated. She was a product of what had happened to her, she was how she was because someone had taken away all her choice and hurt her brutally.

So that was why I was doing my best to tamp down my irritation when I realized that Lilith had wandered off again. I had told her to stay in the bedroom and read while I had a shower after training but when I came out she was gone. I had merely sighed and gotten dried off and dressed before I started looking for her. I wanted to immediately go outside and check the strange little rock garden area that she had started making but I resisted the urge. She was only there sporadically and that was usually after a heavy disassociation fit. She had been fine when I had left to take a shower.

Lilith is in the kitchen. I am letting you know because you are more than likely worrying about where she is. Gamgam's voice was a bit sarcastic but relatively calm and I felt my shoulders slump in relief that Lilith hadn't left the house like I thought she had. I ignored Gamgam's jab about my habit of worrying about Lilith. The old mountain shifter didn't exactly approve of my constant state of anxiety that came with Lilith. She believed that Lilith was fine to wander around the territory and that worrying about her would only make me sick. I didn't agree, Lilith wasn't like the type of shifters Gamgam was used to dealing with.

I left our bedroom and headed straight for the kitchen. I pushed open the kitchen door and Lilith was carefully making what looked to be sandwiches. I moved towards her, placing my hand on her lower back once I got close enough. "Lilith, you were supposed to wait in the bedroom until I was done." I said it low to her and she tilted her head slightly, her hair falling over her shoulder as she did so.

"I'm making a picnic." She carefully cut the sandwich she was making in half before setting it aside before she started making another one.

I watched her as she made the turkey sandwich, gently rubbing her lower back as I did so. "Why do you want to make a picnic?" She had already made what looked to be seven sandwiches and they were carefully cut diagonally in half stacked neatly on a plate.