Coffee, Tea // Spencer Reid

Chapter 46 - Things Fall Apart

Lilith

The young woman finished her bowl of oatmeal as her eyes remained glued to the TV screen. It was late at night, but she couldn't really go to bed. Not after what just happened.

An hour earlier

Lilith was surprised upon opening her door: she'd never really expected to see Penelope and Jeanine together.

"Hey, guys... Do you want to come in?" Lilith stepped away from the door as Penelope marched in the flat, practically dragging Jeanine behind her.

"Listen Lilith. We, and by "we" I mean Jeanine, need to talk to you." Penelope sounded annoyed, more than anything. The contrast was stark with Jeanine, who bashfully lowered her head and avoided the women's gazes.

"What's wrong?" Lilith asked, slightly confused.

Jeanine finally started talking. "First of all, I just want to say I'm so, so, so sorry..."

"Um... Okay I feel like you need to unpack a lot. Just sit on the sofa, I'll get you a cup of tea." Lilith patted her friend's shoulder.

Jeanine sat on the couch, a pang of guilt in her chest. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Why shouldn't I be? You're my friend." Lilith smiled, as if it were so simple.

"Because I'm a bitch!" The young woman burst into tears. Penelope threw her a look, as if to mean "You don't say".

"Wow, wow, wow. Hey, calm down..." Lilith took a seat next to her, her hand on her back. "I'm really lost, what's going on?" She asked, throwing a look at Penelope, whose gaze was still uncharacteristically stone cold.

Penelope spoke again. "Go on Jeanine, tell her."

The woman was still sobbing, but she managed to choke out a sentence.

"At... At the party, it was me." Leaving Lilith confused, Jeanine started crying again.

"What? What do you mean it was you?"

"It was an accident, I swear, I didn't mean to do it, my hand just slipped, and I... I..."

Penelope, starting to lose patience, raised her voice. "Jeanine, you fucking caused this. Now own up and just say it. It's the least you can do."

The woman sniffed loudly. "I deleted the message. He never saw it." She avoided eye contact with Lilith, ashamed by her actions. "The message where you said you liked him. It wasn't his fault."

Removing her hand from Jeanine's back, Lilith rose to her feet. It felt like she'd become empty inside. She couldn't form a thought, or utter a word. Jeanine just kept on talking.

"I'm so sorry, you've been such a good friend and I did this to you. I just thought, if Spencer saw this there'd be no way he'd stay with me, you know?"

Penelope crossed her arms. "He left you anyways, so you should have told Lilith."

Lilith turned to face Jeanine. "He... He left you? But you were kissing at the party... I..."

"I'm the one who kissed him. He broke up with me right after, I guess it didn't feel right to him." Jeanine looked down, vainly trying to refrain from crying again.

"I'm sorry, but I need to process things alone right now..."

Penelope pulled on Jeanine's arm for her to get up. "We'll be going."

Lilith accompanied the two women at the door in an awkward silence. Before she shut the door, Jeanine turned to her friend.

"Lilith, will you ever be able to forgive me?"

"Maybe in the future. Goodbye." With those words, the woman closed the door on them.

After pouring herself a bowl of cereal and surfing TV channels for hours, Lilith's lids were starting to feel heavy. She made her way back to her bed, where she covered herself with her sheets. Bringing her knees to her chest, Lilith thought about everything she'd done to Spencer. All the times she'd ignored him out of anger. All the time where he had no idea why his best friend was treating him like a stranger.

Lilith cried softly until she fell asleep.