"It's a Secret" ~BoyxBoy~

~9~

Dear papa,

I miss you... I miss you so much. I remember when we played frisbee in the park, when we got a puppy for Christmas, sadly Carl got ran over. I remember when we went to the Wembley stadium to watch the football. I hated every moment but I didn't know how important it was to you, until now.

I have a crush. I know you would say to 'go and get her' but the thing is my crush is not a 'her.' It's actually quite the opposite. Ever since you have passed, I have been thinking about my sexuality. Dad... I'm gay. My crush is Noah Rowe.

I found out who my mother is. She is looking after me now. We had to hide her identity, so when people are over, Selene is my auntie but she is actually my mom. She has a massive secret, that's why her life has to be private.

At your funeral, everyone was crying- I included. It was such a bad atmosphere. Noah was with me, as my plus one. I did a massive speech about you. About how much I miss you and our memories.

I have kept your room however you left it. It was a bit messy but it reminded me about you. So I didn't clean it. I hope you don't mind. My mother sleeps on the spare bedroom. Thank the lord, we have an extra room because I couldn't cope with cleaning up your room. We keep the door locked, just in case anyone goes in there and ruins it. To be honest, it takes a lot of strength for me to go in there, I have always come out of the room crying.

I haven't been to school for a couple of weeks now, Noah and his friends are worried about me because I have been ignoring them. I am actually quite happy, that I am not at school that much anymore. I have been getting bullied by a girl called Veronica. I didn't want to tell you because I know you would get stressed and I didn't want that. I know you would of said to 'be strong, like a man' but I am not strong, I mean I can't even get out of bed. After you have died, I haven't been to the woods, like I normally would if I had a bad day. I am just glued to my bed, crying all day. If I am not crying, I am sleeping.

You have helped me through a lot in my life and I miss you. I love you dad, I love you more than anything I have ever loved. You are the first man I have loved. I miss you daddy.

Love your broken son...
xx