Back to the Start(nalu)

24- Crushed Dreams

"You're seriously weirding me out, Natsu!"

Happy calls out from beside me and I pay him no mind as I continue to walk swiftly down the street, making my way towards a group of rowdy girls off in the distance.

"I get you're excited...or something...but you need to knock it off!"

My eyes remain hard as I stare in front of me.

Ever since I opened my eyes and was on that train again I've only spoken two words to Happy as I had gotten up and walked out without any hesitation.

"Let's go."

He's been pestering me for the last couple of minutes but no matter what he says I don't bother responding...at least I really don't want to.

I've got something I need to do and I can't afford to stop again.

I'm going to do it as quickly as possible and without any falter.

I continue to walk quickly down the street and after a while Happy has given up and decided to follow closely behind me without saying a word.

We finally make it to the circle of girls rowdily yelling and jumping up and down. I stop a few feet away from the circle.

Last time.

This will be the last time.

It has to be.

I close my eyes and sigh deeply, taking in the one second I have before I'll get thrusted into the commotion and everything that follows.

And this will be the last time I get to experience it.

My eyes open and I push through the girls, bumping into shoulders as I make my way through. The sounds of them yelling echoes blurring in my head and when I make it to the center I stop and wait.

Some girl pushes me and I fall to the ground. I sigh and close my eyes, waiting for them to all clear out as they always do.

After a few minutes the commotion has ended and they've all left, leaving silence...at least until soft footsteps tap towards me.

"Thank you for your help!"

I keep my eyes closed at her voice and prepare myself for what I know I have to do.

"I'm Lucy!"

I take a deep breath before opening my eyes to see Lucy standing above me, looking at both me and Happy with a smile.
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Fifteen minutes? Twenty?

I don't know.

I've been mindlessly picking at my food waiting for the moment when I'll end this for good.

It's been mainly Happy and Lucy talking. I don't want to talk. It will make what I have to do harder.

The minutes continue to go by until a certain word gets spoken.

"-join a guild."

I perk up and dread fills me as I recognize that as my cue.

"What guild?"

She looks over at me surprised from my contribution to the conversation before she regains her composure and smiles giddily.

"It's a guild called Fairy Tail! I've always wanted to join!"

An invisible force grasps onto my heart and squeezes it tight.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Lucy...

But you can't go to Fairy Tail. I have to keep you from joining because I don't want you to die.

My hand tightens into fists at my sides, hidden by the table.

I won't leave it up to chance this time. I won't leave it to her to find her way. I'm going to make the decision for her.

"It's been great getting to know you, Lucy."

I struggle to keep eye contact with her.

"The truth is, I'm the real Salamander. I'm a member of Fairy Tail and I've got the mark to prove it."

I slide my right shoulder out of my jacket and her eyes turn into awe.

"...and I'm really sorry, Lucy, but you can't join Fairy Tail."

Her eyes snap from my arm to my eyes and her awe changes into bewilderment.

"What?"

I take a deep breath.

"You can't join Fairy Tail. I'm sorry."

The grip on my heart tightens as the excitement from early cracks and falls away, leaving the sad, lonely girl that was hidden underneath visible.

"Why?"

My eyes strain to look away from hers. I know exactly what I'm doing. I know just how important this is to her.

"The people in Fairy Tail have been there for years. Everyone's basically a family there and we don't just take in members."

She gulps and I just barely catch the sight of her hand trembling on the table.

"O-oh."

My fists turn white and the veins pop out as I try to keep myself from showing any emotion.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. There are lots of other amazing guilds out there."

She stares at the table, a lost look on her face as she comes to terms with the idea of her childhood dream getting crushed just like that. Everything she has always wanted getting taken from her when she barely got the chance to try.

"Lucy?"

She snap her gaze up to me and I take a sharp intake of breath at how plain they are, how empty. The light and happiness from early had sunk away leaving a void. It's almost as if a switch was turned and she smiles.

"Of course."

She rummages through her bag and pulls out some money.

"Again, thanks for earlier. I've got to get going now. I've got a lot of things to do. Goodbye."

I swallow a big gulp of air and nod.

"Goodbye, Lucy."

Happy looks at her sadly.

"Bye, Lucy."

She waves with a smile and walks towards the direction of the door.

My eyes turn red and I fight to keep my emotions in check.

This is it.

After this I'll never see her again.

This'll be the end. No more of all of our adventures together. It'll all be gone.

Lucy reaches the door and I hold my breath.

She pauses with her hand on the door and without looking back, she pushes it open and disappears into the street, leaving me empty.

After moments of silence Happy looks over at me questioningly.

"Why did you say that, Natsu? She could have joined if she wanted."

I shake my head and slouch back into the seat.

"I can just tell that she'd be better off without Fairy Tail, Happy. That's all."

I see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye and I try to ignore him. After a moment or two he moves his gaze back in front of him.

"I just kind of liked her, I guess."

A silence settles over us and I mumble a response only to myself.

"Me too."