Back to the Start(nalu)

16- New Path

"C'mon, Natsu. Let's at least go to the guild to tell everyone we're back."

I walk slowly behind Happy with my shoulders slumped and a frown etched on my face.

"They'll be fine."

Happy crosses his arms and huffs into a pout.

"But we haven't eaten and I'm hungry."

If Lucy was here we would have eaten.

That thought makes me look up to Happy and force a small smile on my face.

"Sure, Happy. Let's get some food real quick."

He stops pouting and a triumphant smile grows on his face. As soon as he faces forward my smile falls and I stuff my hands into my pockets.

I'm sorry, Happy.

You don't even know what you've lost.
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"We're back!"

Happy flies ahead through the door, leaving me to walk begrudgingly in after him.

A voice pipes up from the side so I stop and look towards the person.

"You guys are back already? Any good news?"

Mira greets me with a smile and I shake my head.

"No."

She smiles reassuringly at me.

"Maybe next time."

I nod my head stiffly and walk around to find Happy. I spot Happy talking to a few others and head towards that direction. Before I reach him, though, a figure blocks my path.

"Hey, Flamebrain, what are you doing back already?"

I take a step to the side and attempt to walk past Gray when he grabs onto my shoulder.

"Hey! Don't ignore me."

I briefly glance at him and sigh. I'm not in the mood...and probably not ever again. There's no point in it.

I bring my hand up and brush his hand off my shoulder. He stares at me, confused at my passiveness.

"Tell Happy I went home."

I walk past him and towards the doors of the guild, leaving him staring after me perplexed.

He's probably pondering what just happened but my mind is elsewhere.

What is she doing right now?

I stuff my hands in the pockets of my pants and walk steadily down the sidewalk.

Did she go eat at the restaurant even though Happy and I didn't show up? Did she decide to go eat somewhere else?

Maybe she went to the same restaurant and only bought one sandwich this time. Maybe she's sitting in the same booth but this time all alone, eating silently.

What if today was the breaking point? The day when all her resolve crumbles and she gives up and returns home to her father. What if by meeting Happy and I she managed to keep going? What if she's on a train right now heading back to the huge mansion that's too empty.

No. She wouldn't go back. She's got that spark in her. She's never been one to give up or quit. She'll keep going until she's satisfied with where she's at...and this time it won't be Fairy Tail.

Fairy Tail is only a temporary happiness.

If she finds somewhere else then she'll be able to keep living on with the people she meets there.

Maybe she met somebody else today since I wasn't there. Maybe she's on her way to some other guild.

My feet stop and I look up at the sky and close my eyes.

So many maybes and what ifs.

So many unknowns.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. My gaze follows the flight of a bird in the sky.

The only known is that as long as she's not in Fairy Tail there's a chance that she can live.

If she was here then..

The bird disappears from view and an image of Lucy staring at me as the light leaves her eyes flashes in my head.

I wince and look back in front of me.

If she was here then she would end up dying.

I can't see her like that again.

This is better.

Wherever she is, it's better.

A realization comes to my head and my eyes widen.

What if she's on the boat with the fake Salamander and the other girls?

My feet burst into action and I start sprinting down the street.

I showed up last time and we both managed to stop him...but I'm not there.

I have to go back there and make sure she's alright...

I stop running abruptly.

No.

I can't go there.

It's because of me that she dies. After she sees me her life changes forever and I can't risk that.

Things are different this time around.

I didn't see Lucy in that group of girls and she didn't introduce herself and offer a meal.

Things are different now because I changed it.

I brought her to Fairy Tail and I got her killed, so this time she'll be fine because I stayed out of the way.

It's better. Her life has to be better.

I repeat it over and over again in my head, trying to reassure myself.

After a while I turn around and head back in the direction of my house. The dirty house that's got trash and broken things everywhere because nobody fixes them.

I guess this is the only thing I can do now.

The thought feels stale in my head and makes my stomach tighten.

The only place to go is my own home.