How I Heal

four

Lunch came around and I went to get lunch on my own since the twins were trying to finish incomplete homework.

I didn't mind being by myself anyway, the free time was always welcomed. 

I made my way to the parking lot, attempting to locate my parked car in an effort to grab some edible food considering that school lunch was just garbage on a tray.

The problem was, when I got there, I forgot where I parked so I had to walk between cars, trying to find my correct license plate.

I wasn't a car enthusiast even though my dad built cars all his life, but I knew if he saw me right now in this very moment, he'd probably hold his head down in shame and say, "I'm not with her."

I continued my search, the attempt feeling more and more pointless as time progressed.

How the hell did I manage to forget where I parked my car?

As I was about to walk between two bright red cars, the smell of smoke filled my nostrils and I realized two things,

1) how much I hated the smell of smoke

and

2) that I wasn't the only person out here.

I wrinkled my nose when I realized somebody must be smoking, the familiar scent of nicotine wafting in the air.

The curly haired boy suddenly came into view, a cigarette between his lengthy fingers before he held it up to his gentle lips.

I saw him inhale deeply, before exhaling, and the way he took it so easily made me realize he must have been smoking for quite a while.

I didn't want him to spot me but my brain moved too quickly for my arms and legs and I didn't know whether to retreat, crouch between two cars or just disappear.

Considering the feasibility of my last option, and my inability to make up my mind in stressful situations, my body chose instead to freeze, his eyes immediately landing on me.

"Were you spying on me?" He curtly asked, an angered look on his face.

The thunder in his eyes came to wreck havoc, and I knew he'd be the death of me.

I said nothing as I stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say to this boy, or even how to say it.

He stood there annoyed for a few seconds, before darkly saying, "Well?"

Coming to terms with the fact that there was no right answer, I decided to just go with whatever my mouth wanted to say.

"I wasn't spying really," I started to explain. "I was just looking for my car, and you're standing next to it."

I pointed at the bright red vehicle not knowing who's car it actually was, praying that he didn't actually expect me to go inside while he stood there.

Of course he did though.

He stood there with folded arms and folded lips and I could already feel the regret in my throat coming up to pay a visit.

I willed myself not to throw up, knowing if I did the situation would only get worse and worse.

I walked up to the car, grabbing my keys before noticing there was no possible way this huge ass key could fit into this tiny ass hole and I didn't know how I was going to get this task done.

He watched as I pretended to struggle but he wasn't an idiot and he could see I wasn't even attempting to push the key in.

"This isn't your car is it?" He simply said.

I shook my head to which he replied a low sounding wow.

I watched as he held his chin with one hand, his fingers holding onto the cigarette tightly with his other.

"Should you be smoking that here?" I asked him.

I knew it was a stupid question but I just hated the thought of people smoking.

There was nothing glamorizing or hot about it, no matter how good the person looked while doing it.

"Should you be worried about things that have literally nothing to do with you?" He simply replied, his lips taking another swig of the drug.

I scoffed, pushing my keys back in my pocket before stepping out of the space.

"You know," I began just about getting ready to walk away. "You don't need to be an asshole. It's pretty unappealing."

"You know," he rebutted. " You don't need to act like a huge smartass. But here we are. Being what we are. The only thing we can be."

I watched him take one last swig of his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it under his black boot and turning in the opposite direction.

"Not that I have anything to prove," I stopped him short. "But I'm not a smartass."

"And I'm not a drug addict," he turned around momentarily. "But since the world is built on assumptions, you live with your opinions, and I'll live with mine."

He gave me no further time to explain as he walked away.

________

Woot woot. Double update. Also Ik the story progress probably seems slow but I have a great idea for this book and I feel like it's not something that can be quick but I know it will all eventually come together.

Well I hope.

Thank you for existing and thank you for reading!

-M x