So it Seems || Harry Styles

Chapter 16

Thank god Christmas break is coming up because I don't know how much longer I can stand being at school. All the work, all the babbling teachers, and annoying class mates; my head is going to explode.

I hardly ever see Taylor ever since the Halloween party, which was a little less than two months ago. She's always with Chris and Drew, who tags along like a third wheel.

I see Drew at school too, sometimes. He has a scar on his lip from where Niall busted it open and I can't help but smile to myself every time I see it. He got what he deserved. I just wish I could have been the one to do it. He's tried to talk to me at lunch, but I just ignore him. There's not way I'm letting that ass hole back in my life.

So lunch is basically just Niall and me, which I don't mind. My whole life it's just been Niall and I. And I wish I had classes with Niall besides math, because I talk to no one. Taylor hardly ever comes to English, I have no idea what she does. I assume she's always with Chris.

But Harry and I have that class together, and sometimes he'll sit in Taylor's spot and help me with my work. And thank God he helps me because I never know what's going on. But other times he'll distance himself from me. Like sit in his normal spot, way across the class room, but I'll still catch him taking glances at me.

I've always questioned why Harry did that. One day he'll distance himself from me, barely talking to me or even looking at me, and the other day he want to be my best friend, or what seemed like more. He's always picking me up and giving me huge hugs. But I have to admit it was an exhilarating feeling. Just even remotely touching him gave me chills. And I tried to hide it as hard as I could. I don't want him knowing that he makes me have butterflies. That my stomach does flips when I see him, or when we joke, or when he'll playfully grab my hand.

And that's the last thing I need, a boyfriend. Or a guy in my life that I had some type of feelings for. Someone to distract me from my school work, from my family now in town, from preparing myself for college. I had Niall, and my brother and dad. Those were the only guys I needed in my life and no one else.

Then why did I feel like I was missing something? Like I longed for someone to just be there for me. Someone to pick me up when I fall, or laugh with me, or just to lie down with and listen to music. And every time I was with Harry I didn't feel that longing sensation. Every second I'm with it that feeling slowly faded.

But I can't have that. I don't want to put my heart into another guys hands. I don't want to make someone else responsible for my own happiness. I didn't need a guy to make me feel happy, or whole. I needed myself.

"What do you want to do after school today?" Niall interrupted me from my thoughts.

"Hmmm," I thought aloud, "I'm not sure. It's pretty cold today." Even though it doesn't snow, California gets pretty cold. Well, to us it does.

"And?"

"I don't like doing things when it's cold. I like lying in bed and getting comfy and watching a movie or something." I shrugged, while taking a drink of my water.

"We can do that," Niall suggested, taking the water bottle from my hands and drinking it, also.

"Wait, aren't you suppose to do something with Max today?" I reminded him.

"Oh yeah!" Niall ran his hand through his blonde hair. "I totally forgot, we're suppose to work out today. Thanks for reminding me."

I gave a him a small nod, and turned my attention towards the window. I spotted Harry, sitting in that garden, as always. It was a gloomy day outside, and it seemed like with every passing minute it got colder and colder. Why is Harry sitting out in the cold? Alone?