I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

53

   Aunt Mary is silent for a little bit and I couldn't help but think that Lauren left to be alone because she is over thinking our situation, again. I finally look at my aunt "I hope you're happy Aunt Mary. Lauren is probably going to end our relationship now even though she loves me because you got in her head. I love her and I'm happy with her. I'm sorry you don't seem to understand that but it is none of your business. She means the world to me and I can't lose her."

   Just talking about possibly losing Lauren makes my eyes tear up. Aunt Mary walks towards the door. "I'm going to go to my hotel. I'm staying at the Holiday Inn on Riverwalk. I will see you later, hopefully before graduation. I love you Kyler and I'm sorry but you have to understand I just want what's best for you." She leaves and I am left here in the apartment surrounded by silence.

   About an hour after Aunt Mary left, Lauren finally came back home. She is quiet and seems distant as she comes through the door. She doesn't even look at me when she passes by the couch. I knew something was wrong. I knew she was already in her head doubting us or she is going to end what we have.

   After a few seconds, I go look for Lauren and find her sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. "What's wrong Lauren?" I softly ask.

   Lauren shakes her head, "I don't want to talk about it."

   I walk over to Lauren and sit beside her. "Lauren, I'm trying here so please don't shut me out. Talk to me, I know something is wrong."

   Lauren looks up and just stares at me for a few seconds. "Everything Mary said just got to me and I know I shouldn't have let it but it did."

   I sigh and run my hand through my black hair. "You mean about us?" Lauren nods her head yes. "We have been through this already. Don't let Aunt Mary or anyone get in that beautiful head of yours and make you doubt us. This relationship is between me and you. We don't need anyone's approval."

   Lauren shakes her head. "How many people are going to look at us the way Mary did? How many people will think I preyed upon you and took advantage of you? That was her first thought."

   I grab Lauren's hands "I don't give a damn what she thinks or what anyone else thinks. This has nothing to do with anyone but us. Hell, it really doesn't matter if you would have preyed upon me, because you wouldn't have had to try very hard. I was already head over heels for you." She takes a deep breath and just looks at me.

   "Okay, I've got some things I need to say and I need you to just listen, please." Lauren nods her head and looks down at her hands that are in mine. "I know you have more to lose than me if the school board finds out about our relationship. However, you have to decide if you are in this relationship 100% or not. You tell me that you would choose me over your job and go wherever I go for college but as soon as someone finds out about us you start second guessing us and our relationship. That's not fair to me or us."

   I look at Lauren and her eyes are glossy but I have to finish what I need to say. "I love you and I am so in love with you. I have never felt anything like this before but this back and forth is hurting me. You... are hurting me and our relationship whether you realize it or not. I know all these new feelings are possibly overwhelming you and if you need time to figure out what you want then just tell me. I want you Lauren and I want to be with you more than anything else but this can't keep going on."

   Lauren shakes her head and opens her mouth but I start talking again. "Everything changed when I met you. I have changed and I have said and done things I never thought I would because of you. I gave myself to you and only you and trust you to not break my heart."

   I kiss Lauren's hands and hold them a little tighter. "I never wanted a relationship but here I am fighting for one with you if it's what you actually want also. I know Mike hurt you and that's one of the many reasons you question our relationship and let people get to you but I promise you, I am not like him. I am in this 110% and fuck what anyone else thinks about our relationship. As long as it's what we want and we are happy."

   Lauren looks at me and I see tears run down her cheeks. I sigh because I don't know what else to do. What I'm about to say hurts me and will possibly hurt her too. "We have three days until graduation and by then I need to know if you are 100% in this relationship or not. If you are then no more second guessing us. I just can't keep doing this back and forth, it's not fair to either of us and really makes me feel like I'm not good enough for you."

   Lauren quickly leans forward and kisses my lips and my whole body tingles just from feeling her lips on mine. I always want her but I can't let my constant desire for her take over this situation. I don't know if she is trying to distract me or show me she is in this so I pull away from her and stand up. She looks surprised that I pulled away from her but doesn't say anything. Her phone starts ringing as it's laying on the coffee table and I glance down to see her mom is calling.

   "It's your mom so you should answer it."

   Lauren shakes her head "I can call her back."

   I laugh a little "you know she will just keep calling. I'm going to grab us Chick-fil-A for dinner..." She answers the phone and before I say anything else she puts her finger to my lips and mouths "be quiet." I nod, gently kiss her cheek then grab my keys and wallet to leave and get dinner.

   After picking up Chick-fil-A, I drive back to the apartment and Lauren is curled up on the couch when I walk inside. She quickly gets up and follows me to the kitchen "that smells so good, I am so hungry." I laugh at her as I get out our chicken sandwiches, fries and a 12 count nugget for us to share. We sit and eat in silence, then out of nowhere Lauren says "I told my parents."

   I nearly choke on my chicken sandwich and once I stop coughing I ask "you told them what exactly?"

   Lauren smiles at me "I told them about the divorce and that I was seeing someone. I told them I was dating someone younger than me and that I love her and she loves me."

   I just stared at Lauren because I honestly wasn't expecting her to do something like that. "Do they know it's me?"

   Lauren lays her hand on top of mine "I told them your middle name when they asked for my girlfriends name but did not tell them anything else. I thought that was best for now and by the time they meet you, you will be finished with high school so... yeah."

   "Wow! Were they shocked?"

   Lauren shrugs, "well, not about the divorce. They never really liked Mike, especially my dad. They were shocked that I was dating a woman but dad said as long as I was happy and being treated right, then it doesn't matter who I date. Mom seemed weird about it though and her happiness for me seemed a little forced. I don't know but I'm honestly not worried about it because I am happy and for once in my life I am so glad I chose my happiness."