I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

19

    Four weeks have passed, it is now the end of April and things are just completely fucked up around the house. Mike has been staying at work longer and going in every Saturday and sometimes Sunday. He and Lauren have been arguing non stop about him spending all his time at work and how he is acting like I don't even exist. They usually argue behind the closed door of their bedroom but most of the time I can still hear it. Lauren tried talking to him about the whole cheating on mom and his second wife situation but he told her it was none of her business and didn't concern her. How the hell does it not concern her? She is married to the prick unfortunately. From what I happened to overhear, when she was one the phone one afternoon, she definitely never knew he was married a second time before he married her and didn't know both marriages ended because of him cheating.

   When I overheard Mike and Lauren's last argument, I wish I wouldn't have. Mike came home really late the other night and woke Lauren up, apparently trying to have sex with her. I heard her tell him 'no'. Then I heard him start yelling "you complained months ago about it being a while since we've had sex then when I try to fuck you, you don't want me to." I then heard Lauren yell "I want more than just that Mike. The last time we done anything it was over four months ago and it was a quickie for you to get what you wanted! What about what I want? I want to feel love, I want someone to make love to me. Is that too much to ask for? Is that to much for you to do?"

   Needless to say I didn't want to hear anymore about their sex life or lack thereof so I put my AirPods in and went to sleep. The next morning after their argument Lauren was wearing a long sleeve which I thought was weird. I tried asking her about it but she wouldn't talk to me. She ignored me every time I tried asking about it. She finally said "I'm just cold" then left for the rest of the day. It was springtime and was pretty warm already so I knew there was no way she was just cold.

   She wore a long sleeve for about three days then finally went back to short sleeves and tank tops. I couldn't be sure but glancing at her arms it looked like fading bruises on her wrists. I couldn't tell for sure without actually looking at her wrist close up and any time she caught me glancing at them or trying to get close enough to look, she moved away from me so I couldn't see. I better not ever find out Mike done that to her or I will fucking hurt him.

   Lauren wasn't talking to me that much and she always tried to put on a brave face around me even though I knew it was forced. I wanted to ask her about everything but I was scared she would distance herself from me even more. She had even been wanting to just cook dinner by herself and if she did let me help, she wouldn't talk to me.

   I've made a few more friends at school and Lila and I have become closer friends. I've been hanging out at her house more which keeps me away from my current living situation. She is really cool and a lot of the things she says or does reminds me of Katie sometimes. They would definitely get along great.

   Lila has been talking about some new 18 and over club that's opening up downtown at the Riverwalk in another week. You can get in if you're 18 but have to have an arm band showing your 21 to drink. She wants us to go and have a good time and as she said "maybe even pick up a woman."

   I'm definitely down for the club but I want to drink when I go. Mom would let me drink wine at home and some mixed drinks sometimes. I always went for the harder stuff at parties though and that's what I want to do when we go to this new club. I need an escape just for a night. Lila actually has a cousin that is the bouncer there and can get both of us an arm band so we can drink. I'm so ready for it to open so I can hopefully just let go and maybe ease some of this stress and get my mind off of you know who.

   The past four weeks had been miserable and made me feel even more alone. Then two mornings ago, Lauren seemed to be back to her usual self and I was glad. We cooked together again both nights, talking in the process , talking while we ate and cleaned up. We are really getting to know each other more and seem to be getting to know each other on a deeper level. The only problem with that is the fact it just draws me to her even more. I want to know everything about her and I want her to know everything about me. We are so comfortable around each other and Lauren is no doubt becoming a very close friend for me. I haven't been flirting with her or constantly checking her out, which is quite hard because it's Lauren and she is just... perfection but I'm managing.

   Lauren's sister Julia is coming for dinner tonight. This will be my first time meeting anyone from Lauren's family and I'm wondering if her sister is anything like her. Julia is 22 and from what Lauren has told me before, she's single, likes to party and have fun. I wonder if she looks anything like Lauren. Maybe I will automatically connect with her like I did Lauren.

   Of course the asshole of a sperm donor will not be home for dinner. He is actually on a four day business trip to San Francisco for some supposedly important meeting. I have a feeling he's cheating on Lauren. I don't want to say anything to her about it though in case I'm wrong. Before he left for his trip, he took my car away from me saying I didn't deserve it. That was the first time he had spoken to me since our fake family night when everything went to shit. Lauren wasn't home when he took my car, so she did not even know until I told her I had to ride with her again. She tried calling Mike but he never answered. So now I'm back to riding to and from school with Lauren unless Lila can bring me home.

   I'm not mad about riding with Lauren because I enjoy my time with her. Our friendship has shifted and we seem even more comfortable around each other now. We constantly talk about random things any chance we get even on the way to school as we listen to music. Sometimes we are both even singing along to songs we know and I really love seeing this carefree side of Lauren. A lot of times at the house, especially when Mike is around, it's like she walks on eggshells.