Attraction

Just his cousin

His breathe was uneven, he was angry. I had never seen Gabriel like this before, I didn't know what to do. He just told me he hated me, I felt bad, I hated myself, how did I annoy him so much?

To an extent I also wished I wasn't his cousin, I wanted to be able to kiss him on the neck..or.. maybe he would be able to like me........? I sniffled.

" What do you want me to do Liela?" He asked suddenly. I looked at him and instead of anger, I saw helplessness in his features. Although I couldn't understand what was going on, I wanted to make him less angry. I stood glued to the ground not wanting to act out of my foolishness like I always do.

   Gabriel picked up his jacket again and used it in wiping the lipstick stain from his neck although it didn't come off completely, he threw the jacket back on the bed before walking towards me. I pressed my back against the door frightened.

" I'm sorry" I found myself saying. He got to me and pulled me into his chest, dropping his face into my neck. I stiffened, I decided to remain still, not wanting to annoy him with the slightest movement.
He inhaled deeply, pulling me even closer to him

" Baby" he muttered. I blinked wondering if I was the one he called that, my body slowly relaxing into him
" I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm sorry for everything I said" he said softly into my neck.
   I remained silent  " Please don't get too attached to me, I won't always be reasonable" he said and I still kept quiet.

I wanted to make Gabriel happy somehow but I was scared to even move
" God! Liela I'm sorry" he said, removing his face from my neck and starring directly at my face. I looked away, he used his index finger in bringing my face back to face him.

" Please say something" he pleaded " I..... I'm sorry" I managed to say, my voice breaking and I started crying.
   He held my head against his chest stroking my hair " Don't be sorry baby. I'm sorry. now please don't cry" he tried to comfort me.

" What should I do to apologise to you?" He asked. Immediately, the thought of asking him to allow me kiss him on his neck came to my mind but I shook my head getting rid of it. He kept stroking my hair and continuously apologizing.

****
    I had left Gabriel's room the previous night when Mrs Fidelia came to call us for dinner. Since last night my mind had been disturbed. I couldn't forget all that Gabriel said.
  He had said it clearly that he hated that I was his cousin, which must have meant he hated me.

He also told me he had been hanging out with alot of girls and sleeping with them. That hurt me a great deal and I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't want him doing all that with other girls, but I was just his cousin. Who he hated.

The image of the lipstick stain on his neck was glued to my memory. It annoyed me. I wanted to kiss him on his neck for some reason, I wanted my lip there instead.
   The scratches on his body was another terrible image. Why would he let any girl do that to him. Did he like to get scratched by girls? Also he confirmed he's trying to avoid me.

   Although he apologized and hugged me after everything, I still couldn't forget how angry he was, how he yelled at me. It reminded me of my stepmom who would make me kneel while she yelled at me about all my mistakes and how my mother was a prostitute and a home wrecker blah blah blah, all those didn't hurt me anymore. I had moved on from them.

   Maybe if I wasn't Gabriel's cousin he would have liked me a little more? But would I have met him? I sighed.

I sat alone in the library at school, I came here so I could avoid Theresa, Harry and.... Gabriel, that's if he even cared about me. I just wanted to be able to think.
  I looked at the book in front of me and sighed, my mind only just going back to Harry, how was I going to explain I didn't send the text, I sighed again, surprised that I wasn't even that bothered about it.

  " Boom" I heard all of a sudden from behind me. I quickly turned around startled. Theresa stood there with a wide smile. I stared at her blankly not even able to fake a smile. Seeing my reaction, she frowned, pulled out a chair by my side and sat on it. I looked away from her, now staring at the book in front of me again.

" You don't look happy, is everything alright?" Theresa asked  " I'm fine" I said softly as I slowly closed the book in front of me.
" Why are you here then? All by yourself" she asked...
" I'm just bored" I lied again.

Theresa was silent for a while before speaking again "Do you read novels?" She asked. I've read few novels. Mind you,, they were always educational novels teaching life lessons... Blah blah blah..

" Do you read romance novels?" She asked again gaining my interest
" I haven't...." I didn't finish before she cut me off " I've read alot of them and I could give you if you want. I'm sure you'll like them" she said. I finally smiled.

Romance novels. I've never been able to lay my hands on anything of such.
   Throughout school, I managed in avoiding Harry, it didn't even seem like he wanted to talk to me. I sat in my room by myself. It was evening.

I have been avoiding Gabriel. I didn't want to talk to him, mostly because I didn't know what to say to him or how to even talk to him after all of that.

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