Obsession // Ashtray

4

I stumbled off Rue's bed and we stare intently at each other. "Rue," I say breathlessly, everything was moving at like 0.5x speed. "Yes Nyah," she giggles lightly, already sitting on the ground. I tried to keep my eyes on Rue because the number of colours and objects that were moving was freaking me out. "I- I think I should go homee," I grab her face gently and push her head back thinking about how long I've been away. I try to get up but my legs give in and I fall back down. It was weird how I felt myself slowly fall.

"Hahahah you can't even move bro," Rue cackles causing me to join the laughing fit. "You know what we should do," I lay my head on Rue's lap staring at the moving ceiling. "We should call Ashh, and see what he's doing," I slur and burp. Suddenly I didn't feel too good. It was like I was no longer in my body, but more so watching myself. I scratched my shoulder and everything felt numb, it took me a while to even process I was scratching. Was I about to throw up? Despite the nausea I was feeling, I pull out my phone and Rue cheers. So much for distracting myself with the drugs. We wait patiently and hear the phone ringing about 2 or 13 times. I can't really remember how to count.

"What?" I close my eyes and envision him rolling his eyes making me smile a little. "Well..." I start. Why did I call him again? "I can't remember why I called," I mumble out. "Bitch the fuck are you on? You sound dumb," he laughs and I frown a bit. Is he laughing at me or playing? "You're literally our plug dumbass," and I let out a forced laugh. "Thanks for hooking us up Ash," Rue sighs contently, stroking my hair. "Yeah, I don't know if I can. Fez says we can't be supplying y'all no mo," I hear him shuffle a few things in the background as he talks to someone. I liked listening to his voice, it was raspy and deep but his words were leaving my brain as quickly as they entered my ears.

"You're playin," Rue says zonked out her fucking mind but I feel my high coming down. It never lasts long enough. "Well, what are you doing?" Was I forcing this conversation and the friendship or acquaintanceship with Ash? It feels like I'm always starting everything. "Grown shit," he nonchalantly replies. Maybe I'm right. Maybe he doesn't even want to talk to me. I think my silence was too long because he speaks again. "There's no point telling you what I'm doing when you don't have the capacity to comprehend my shit." "What the fuck does that mean," I berate feeling my body heat up in anger. "Nyah. You're on drugs." Oh, so he wasn't being rude... I think?

"Shit, Ash I gotta go," I groan as I see my mum calling. "Bet," was all he said so I hung up and answered my mum. "Hesi mhamha (hi mum)," I say in the fakest happy voice I've ever said. "Don't you hesi me. Where are you Nyah? I want you home in 15 minutes," she yells on the other side. You know when your immigrant parents are so mad they speak English? Yeah, that's when you know you're fucked. "Zvakanaka (okay)," I hang up and get up. Rue is in her own world so I leave thru the back and get in my car. I'm so fucked.

My driving was dangerous, to say the least. I was pretty ready to die of drug causes instead of facing my mother. I get out of the car and run past Fez in a hurry trying to look for eye drops. My mind was so frazzled and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I have 9 minutes left shit. "How dilated are my eyes?" I gasp exasperated. "Like... a lot," the ginger bearded high man rests his head back smoking some more. I go back to the eye drop area and find the bottle I need. "What's that for?" Ash says walking out the door which leads to the back. I look back down at my phone. "Shit I have 5 minutes. I have to go like right now," I say holding back my tears, throwing some cash at Fez and yeeting myself into the driver's seat.

Ashtray POV

"She's so fucked," I grab a guava jarritos making sure there's no emotion showing on my face. "You not like... gonna check on her or nun?" Fez looks at me and I shrug. "Nah she'll probably call," and he gives me a quizzical look. "Alright, I'll check on her later. Get off my back." Weird.

Nyah POV

One minute early. Thank God. I've never driven so reckless and the police may come knocking on the door in a few hours but I'm home which would definitely make things worse but let's take it one step at a time (A/N Cassie's here in spirit 😒). I look at the two-story cream coloured house. The place I loved to grow up with my dad and once upon a time, my mother too. But when my dad died so did everything good about home. My mum became so suffocatingly toxic and strict, I now love to avoid this place. "Mama I'm home," I yell as I walk into the living room. No one's there meaning she's level 2 mad. Level 1 mad is a lecture maybe a small disciplinary beating but nothing too bad. But level 2... I might just die.

"Kitchen," she yells back. Shit, there are so many weapons in there. "You wanna explain this?" She holds my weed stash in a little green basket in one hand and a knife in the other. Her back leaned against the oven giving me little reassurance that she wouldn't stuff me in the oven again and turn it on and off continually to scare me. I really hope that knife is just there for scaring purposes. "Mama it's not mine. I would never do it," Living in a strict household has just taught me how to be a fast thinker not gonna lie. "Well, how would I know? You're never home... for weeks at a time," her thick accent is really coming through and she waves the knife around. "Mama I was just holding onto it for someone," desperation laced in my voice. She is in one of the worst moods I've ever seen. And then she says it. The four words that swallow me whole and make my heart drop into my stomach.

"Give me your hand."

Shit.

Word count: 1136

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