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"Hello there, pretty lady. You look as delicious as ever." Vinnie winked at me and looked me up and down slowly.

"Umm, thank you?" I took a step back.

"I hope my wife looks as good as you when she is your age." Vinnie blew me a kiss.

"I'm sorry," Jake said dramatically, holding his chest. "I must be losing my mind because I thought you said.." he started laughing hysterically. "I thought you said your wife?" He threw his head back and cackled like a lunatic. "This guy and a wife." He pointed at Vinnie, still laughing.

"I did say, wife." Vinnie protested.

"Stop it, man. My side hurts." Jake held onto his side, wiping tears from his eyes as he continued to laugh. "That was a good one." He held onto my shoulder and smiled at me. "Wife." He scoffed.

"I don't think he's joking," I said, looking at Vinnie's serious face.

"I'm not. I have a wife." He looked straight at Jake. "I grew up and got married."

"The fuck you did!" Jake laughed. "There is no way a girl married you. Wait, what did you marry Vinnie, you sicko?" Jake made a face at him. "You might want to move back, Eb. You could catch something from this guy."

"Please," Vinnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "If she is going to catch anything, it will be from you. Remember that night at the cemetery?"

"That was pretty awesome." Jake looked at me. "I have no idea what he is talking about."

"I am married, and she is human," Vinnie said proudly.

"That doesn't mean anything. I've met some very questionable humans in my time." Jake shook his head.

"Why am I not shocked by this?" I smiled at Jake.

"Because you are one of them." He said right in my face.

"Baby, come over here for a minute," Vinnie called to a tall, curved, brunette girl who looked like she had just walked off an MTV set. "Guys, this is Hayley. Hayley, this..."

"Jake, hey. It's been a while." Hayley smiled innocently at a now nervous-looking Jake. "You look great." She blushed at Jake, who looked absolutely horrified.

"Oh no." Jake didn't know where to look. "Oh no." He whispered at me.

"You two know each other?" Vinnie said, looking between them.

"Yeah, we used to.."

"Nope, never seen this girl before in my life." Jake shook his head. "Never." He said, looking at Hayley and shaking his head.

"Oh, yeah. We never used to sleep together." Hayley said, winking at Jake.

"You are not helping," Jake said under his breath to her, clearing his throat.

"Seriously, did you two use to date?" Vinnie asked, looking even more awkward.

"Date? No, we never went on a single date. Did we, Jake?" Hayley said, raising her eyebrow at Jake. "That I definitely remember."

"See, I told you," Jake said, nodding his head. "Never been out with her."

Vinnie looked between the two of them and smiled. "Yeah, well, it doesn't matter because she told me I was the best she ever had." He said proudly, kissing her cheek.

Jake burst out laughing hysterically and almost fell backward. "Yeah, right. Dude, she is lying because there is no way you even compare to..." he stopped laughing as he saw the frown on Vinnie's face. "I mean, yeah, sure. Why not. It's not like I've ever given her the best time of her life...twice, if I recall. You do you, man." Jake patted a disturbed-looking Vinnie on the back. "Best she ever had? What a fucking joke." Jake walked away laughing to himself.

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