Your Never Fading Smile

Chapter 10

"I need to talk to you!"

Both me and Noah said simultaneously as we were standing facing one another.

I gulped as Alex's words passed through my mind. "Y-you go first..." I motioned for him to continue as I looked nervously at the ground. "Liam... I... I'm sorry! What I did was something very wrong!" He said as he grabbed his shirt where the heart is for emphasis. His eyes looking ever so desperate. "I kissed you without your consent... And now you must be very weirded out of me... But you should know that I didn't regretted it. For me, your personality, your smile, your laugh, the look in your eyes... Everything, is making me feel things no one else ever did." I could feel my ears slowly getting hotter as I kept looking at the ground. What is this feeling...?

"I... I really like you Liam." At this point, my whole face felt hot as I refused to raise my head to meet his eyes. "I know you may as well hate me but-" "That's not true!" I interrupted Noah as I finally looked at him. "I'm the one who has to apologize... What I said was harsh. I don't hate you either! I don't even know how I feel...!" I semi-yelled as I tried my best to express my thoughts.

"Liam..." "Just give me some time!" I yelled once again now looking back to the ground. "Just... Give me some time until I'll be able to answer properly to your confession." I looked back up to see Noah's widened eyes. "I'll give you all the time you need." He finally gave me a warm smile as he began to walk closer towards me, bringing later his one hand over my head. "I'll be always waiting for you."

He then walked away, leaving my troubled self behind. I touched my head as I stared at his distant form. For some reason, I'm happy to hear that he will wait for me, but I don't understand why. Those feelings and experiences are new to me. I can't quite understand just yet their meaning. "Calm down Liam... It's going to be fine. You have the Christmas holidays to learn about your own feelings." That's right... In three days, the Christmas holidays will start. In the meantime, I will go back to visit my mother and hopefully figure out my feelings.

~~~

"I'm home." "Liam! You're back!" Once I returned home, my mother didn't waste a second to choke me with hugs. "How's my little boy? Have you eaten?" "Ah, I haven't..." I rubbed shamefully the back of my head, knowing very well how much worried she gets if I don't eat on time. "I told you to not leave yourself like that. Come on, I've made your favorite today." I smiled warmly at my mother who seemed very happy with my arrival. I walked towards my room and put my things in a corner.

"So? How's the University? Have you made any friends? Are you living comfortable there?" Asked my mother while we sat at the dinning table for our meal. "It's fine really. I've actually made some great friends and even my roommate is a nice guy." "Really? That's a relief! I'm so glad that you have finally made some friends." "Yeah..." I answered remembering the situation I'm in. "Liam? Is something wrong?" I was brought back from my thoughts and answered my mother's question with a smile. "No, everything's fine. I'm very glad I came back." She showed me one of her own smiles as I tried to make myself seem as much cheerful as possible.

"Liam, I have something to tell you." She spoke with a more serious face than before. "Of course. What is it?" I questioned, eager to know what this was all about. "...Oliver will come back for the holidays." She said and I looked at her surprised, as my twin brother had left the home two years ago. "How so? He never wants to talk to us." "I was calling him until he finally picked up his phone. After a long time convincing him to visit us, somehow, he agreed to come for the Christmas holidays." I looked at my now empty plate with a bittersweet smile. "Don't worry, I'm sure he missed us as well." My mother, knowing fully well what I was thinking, tried to reassure me. I can't believe that he is actually coming back. It's not that I'm not glad. I really miss him too, but...

Suddenly, the door bursted open, revealing the said person from our discussion. "Oliver! You came! I'm so glad to finally see you!" My mother rushed to greed my twin younger brother only for him to look completely unfazed and out of emotion. "Long time no see mother, brother." He made a pause to glare a me and then turned to look back at my mother with a fake smile. For some reason, he really hates me.

"How surprising that my dear mother would want to see her unwanted child." He said with an ever so happy smile as me and my mother stared at him terrified. "W-what are you saying...?" "Oliver."  I warned giving him a hard glare as he in return gave me a smirk. "What? Did I hurt your feelings? But it's the truth isn't it?" "Y-you're wrong! I always loved you and still do! Why would you even think like that?" Cried my mother only for Oliver to laugh back at her. "Lies... Everyone in this house is a liar..." He then turned around and walked outside of the house. I gritted my teeth and ran after him.

"Oliver!" I grabbed the collar of his shirt from the back to stop him from leaving. "Why are you doing this?! We always loved you! I don't even understand why you left the house two years ago in the first place!" He then turned around and gave me a punch in the face, which caused me to fall roughly to the ground. "It's because of you... It's all because of you! I hate you with my whole body and soul!" "...You're lying..." My heart was filled with sorrow as I could hear my mother's cries from afar. "I really can't stand you." He looked down on me and walked away as I stood there motionless with widened eyes.

My body started trembling as tears ran down my face. I couldn't get up. I was only staring at my brother's distant back. "Liam... L-let's go back inside... It's obvious that your brother isn't ready to talk to us just yet. Is your face okay? It will be better if we treat it." My mouth felt sore, that's for sure. But what was bothering me, was my brother's words. Why does he hates me so much? Was I a horrible brother? Am I a horrible person? What have I ever done wrong?

I just want to disappear.