"But how? I've been planning this theft for three months" said Jake.
"I know, but I've been planning it for a year. Last Halloween, after you won the bet, I went back to my office to do everyone's paperwork, but I did no paperwork. I started to plot my revenge. I began by creating a word cloud" said Holt.
Holt watched as everyone partied, and then looked down at his paper and wrote: Halloween 2014. Revenge? Party bus? Frans Bruggen?
"But how could you possibly have known I was gonna try and steal your watch?" asked Jake.
"I knew you would try to take something important to me. During the year, I drew you attention to my watch" answered Holt.
Jake walked into the bullpen, and Holt held up his watch and said "You're eight minutes late."
Another day, Jake walked into the bullpen followed by you. Holt said "Both of you are fourteen minutes late."
The elevator door opened and Jake walked in. Holt showed Jake his watch and said "You're three minutes early... In Chicago."
"You annoyed me into stealing it" Jake said.
"Exactly. Now you had a target, but you needed a plan. Fortunately, it walked through the door, handcuffed to l/n" said Holt.
"This scumbag pickpocket is Dan McCreary. He can take anything of anyone" you said, handing Fingers over to a uniformed officer who put Fingers into the holding cell.
"Anything? Anyone?" asked Jake.
"The look on your face, priceless. I put McCreary into my employ immediately. Fast forward to this morning. You commenced your plan. McCreary stole my watch, and then replaced with the replica. And while you celebrated, McCreary put my watch back on my pocket. The watch, never left my person. Dun-dun-duh!" Holt said.
"I can see that you're enjoying this" Jake said.
"Not nearly as much as I enjoyed phase two" said Holt. "While you met with McCreary, Santiago and l/n placed a fire hydrant in front of your car, which she then towed away."
Amy lifted the heavy fire hydrant assisted by you next to Jake's car, and then the two of you towed the car away, smiling.
"Next, I had to take Charles out of the equation. He had a badge and a gun, and he would do anything to help you. Enter a parade of drunks that separated the two of you long enough for Terry to kidnap Charles. Then two bears spilled their drinks on you stole your wallet. Those bears? Scully and Hitchcock" said Holt.
Charles struggled to get through a group of drunk bears, and began to wave at Jake, but Terry, dressed as a gladiator, grabbed Charles. Two bears grabbed Jake's wallet and then one bear took the head off, revealing themselves to be Scully. Hitchcock, however, struggled to get his head off and said "I can't pull my head off!"
"If Terry kidnapped Charles, how did Charles tell me to get on the party bus?" asked Jake.
"Eight months ago at a morning briefing, I told the squad that a group of thieves was targeting party buses, so I could record Charles saying..." said Holt, showing Jake his phone.
Charles stood up and said "Jake, party bus! Toot toot! Get on board!"
Holt finished recording Charles and smiled.
"I knew Boyle would never knowingly betray me" Jake said.
"With your jacket and shoes gone, you didn't look like a cop, but you still had your badge. That is, until you entered the party bus. Rosa's feline dancing distracted you as a mysterious partier stole your badge on... Halloween" said Holt, saying Halloween in a weird voice.
"It was you in the mask! You sly son of a bitch! Well done. But I do have to ask. Those guys at the impound, did they really smash my car?" Jake said.
"No, in fact, I had them wash it" Holt said.
Jake chuckled. "Good one, Captain. You can't wash a car. So, how'd you convince the whole squad to betray be? What'd you offer them?"
"I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes" said Holt.
"I'm not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit" said Jake.
"So, in addition to the five weeks of free overtime, I believe I'm owed one more thing" Holt said.
"Yes. Here we go" said Jake.
"One second" said Holt.
Holt snapped his fingers, and the light in the room where you and the rest of the squad waited with phones turned on, with everyone filming the moment.
"Very well. Captain Raymond Holt... You are an amazing police captain/genius" Jake said.
Everyone cheered.
"But be warned, I started planning next year's heist just this minute" said Jake.
"Good, then you're only three months behind" Holt said.
"You sick son of a bitch" said Jake.
-----------------
Gina watched as Floorgasm performed, and you, Terry, Rosa and Amy walked over.
"Hey. Don't look so sad. Floorgasm is just a rudderless dance ship without you" said Terry.
"I would have gone with 'flock of dum-dums'" Rosa said.
"I talked to the Captain. We're all gonna pitch in and help you manage your time so you can pursue dance and school" Terry said.
"And I'd like to volunteer my time to tutor you for free" said Amy.
"Mm, hard pass on that. But I do wanna thank you guys for being so understanding and nice. Now get you game face on. Sarge, it's time to dance!" said Gina. "If you forget your moves, just rip your cape off and throw me up in the air like a pizza."
"Put your hands together for the dance duo, Mr and Mrs Terry Jeffords" the announcer said.
"I did not agree to that name" Terry said, but followed Gina to the stage as Push It by Salt'N'Pepa began to play.
Sorry there was like, no Jake in this one. There will be more of him next chapter, I promise.
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Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
