Silas Harrison's Ex-Wife.

3. Maria

"Mrs. Harrison," Silas's lawyer, Gina Harrisburg, called my name. I glanced at her. Maria Harrison – what is the point of calling me by that name? I am no longer Maria Harrison – not after I will sign these papers resting on the desk in front of me. I gulped the lump I felt in my throat and glanced at the man I once called mine. Even the sight of him gave me mixed feelings – how should I feel exactly? Should I cry because the man I love doesn't even trust me? Should I be angry because I don't know what wrong I did that made him hate me so much? He wasn't even looking at me. He glanced at Ms. Harrisburg as she looked toward him as well. It was like they were talking through their eyes. Gina Harrisburg cleared her throat and turned her head to look at me, "Uh – I mean, Miss Wayne." She paused. That's what it was all about – he didn't want her to call me by his name. "Uh, do you have any demands or do you want to say something before we settle this divorce?" She asked me.

I haven't said a word since I came here, nor did Silas. We both were silent – stealing glances at each other – or maybe it was just me. Gina was the one who has been talking since I didn't hire a lawyer. What's the point of hiring one? I finally looked into Silas's eyes as he was staring back at mine. His eyes twisted – something that happens when he is angry or annoyed. What could I demand? I needed answers. Yes. But I have already tried asking for them, but he also acts like I am the most disgusting person. He always asked me to drop the act, but he never directly answers my questions. "Miss Wayne?" His lawyer asked for my attention. I finally broke eye contact with Silas and averted my eyes away from him. I slowly shook my head, "No." I replied short and straight.

But seeing her facial expressions change from weary to surprise, I realized that she wasn't expecting an answer. She glanced at Silas, "Uh – are you sure, Miss Wayne?" She questioned me again. "Mr. Harrison here is ready to transfer some money into your account." She told me. It exasperated me. I didn't want his money. I held the chair's arm in a tight grip. My knuckles must have turned white. I gritted my teeth. I didn't want to show him my emotions. I took a deep breath as I shook my head, "I don't need it." I replied to her shorts. I didn't even bother looking at him.

She hesitated for a second as she unsurely glanced at my soon-to-be ex-husband. Once again, I kept my gaze on the divorce papers resting on the desk in front of me. "Oh – all right then," She said. She then looked at Silas, "Silas, do you want to say anything before you sign these papers?" She asked him. I finally dared to make eye contact with him. He was looking right back at me, "I just want Miss Wayne to accept the amount I am offering her." He said to his lawyer, but his eyes were fixed on me. It enraged me. I gritted my teeth, "I do not want your charity, Mr. Harrison. It is better to die from poverty than to accept his financial assistance." I spat. He didn't reply to me. He just glared at me, but I wasn't up for any more humiliation. I averted my gaze at his lawyer and asked, "Where do I have to sign?" She sighed and handed me the pen. I slowly took it in my hand. "Please sign, here and here," She told me and turned to another paper attached, "And – finally, here." She told me.

I lifted my gaze to look at him. And there he was looking right back at me. He was the same person that I fell in love with, I am the same Maria that was ready to give away everything for this man and yet it all feels so different. We are both the same people, but still, everything was so antithetical. This unbearable ache in my chest, his stabbing glares, and my broken heart – this was my new reality. As much as I want to think otherwise – I can't.

My teary gaze fell on the divorced papers neatly resting in front of me. The ink was still wet on the bottom corner of the document. The pen was still in my shaky hand. I was choking up from my emotions - what did I do to deserve this? I had so many questions that Silas refused to answer. Each time he calls me a cheater, he gives me emotional wounds that might never heal. With each answer I demand – his silence slashes my heart and his glares numb my soul. How can I believe that he loved me when he is hurting me so much? Did he ever love me or was it something similar to love? If it was, does he feel the same as me?