Ratbags and Scallywags [bxb]

Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry, friends! Another not properly edited chapter. Life is SO stressful now I don't even want to wake in the morning, but alas, I have commitments and a cat. Anyway, hope you're all safe and happy. Enjoy! 

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Hours later, I could still hear his cries echoing in my head. I was so scared of the sound, wanting to pull out my hearing aid and pretend he wasn't getting beaten right outside the toilet cubicle.

As tho' to breathe were life! Life piled on life

Were all too little, and of one to me

Little remains: but every hour is saved

From that eternal silence, something more

Something... More... Grandad believed that Alfred, Lord Tennyson's Ulysses made a man of a man. And as I stood paralyzed, those verses echoed in my mind. They tore down my walls that, life piled on life, I now desperately wanted to build around Charlie. To protect him the way he did me. Adrenaline came like a shockwave, sending me stumbling out the door.

What I didn't expect was the way that ended. Or maybe I did, and I just didn't mind. Everyone had come and gone after seeing I was fine. Even Tess, whose priority was to check she got my room if I died. After Mum reprimanded her, I could only assure her that she'd have to fight the adults for the master suite.

I appreciated how much everybody cared, but I was glad it was over. My head was caving in on itself, and every voice crashed around like an avalanche.

All I wanted was quiet.

It was after school now and Uncle Tom was on his way. My head pounded, and all I could do was think about Charlie. Not just that, but the fact that I even entertained the thought of a poem. I'd spent the last four years avoiding it, blocking it out. Rejecting it, denying it, placating its dire necessity with other means and methods. Denying an important part of myself.

I'd been doing it for four years out of fear. Yet all it took was finding Charlie in danger. Even as I stood in hiding, terrified for myself, the emotions invoked from that poem screamed out for Charlie. I didn't even move on my own accord. I needed to talk to Tom about it since he was the only person who'd understand.

He arrived, briefly kissing Mum on the cheek before coming to the bedside. "How're you feeling, Aubs?" he asked.

"Fine," I lied, even though I couldn't even begin to describe how everything felt in this instance. "Doctor said I have a concussion and gotta rest for a few days."

He nodded. "That's fine," he said. "Your Mum let me know. I've set up some homework for you and Charlie. It's fine with you, right?"

I felt a pang in my chest. One that might have been fear or nervousness, or possibly excitement, I didn't know. "I... I think so," I said, wondering how I should go about asking. "Um, can I stay over tonight? I wanted to talk to you about something."

Mum's head snapped towards me in surprise. "What about?" she asked.

Tom looked back at her and put out his hand, giving her that, "It's alright, let me handle it" he tended to sometimes. Mum nodded and pulled out her phone, busying herself. He had a way of communicating with her in ways that nobody else dared. But she always understood when it came to me.

Maybe because of how close I felt to him.

"It's fine by me," he said, "Provided your mother agrees."

Mum looked up at us. "Of course, that's fine, but drop him home on your way to work," she said. "Speaking of, I left a casual staff member alone to take over both me and Mrs. Rascal so I'd better head back now."