Ratbags and Scallywags [bxb]

Chapter 6

It finally happened. I'd been outed in front of the entire school for being disabled. I'd already scrolled through the forums, watching people attack both me and Charlie for different reasons in real time. I didn't even know what to feel anymore. Dazed, maybe. Numb.

Laying on my bed, I stared up at the ceiling. Mum and Dad weren't here so they didn't know I came home early. Even so, I knew they'd understand. Or even if they didn't, I couldn't bring myself to care. There was a speck on the ceiling, so I lifted hand and tried hovering my fingertip over it. A ritual I partook in most nights.

It took a few tries, finger swinging up-ways and sideways, but I managed to hover over it a couple of times. I'd alternate by closing my left eye; the prosthetic one, seeing if my concentration level improved. It didn't. Then I'd play a sick joke on myself, closing my right eye, instead. And I'd see nothing.

I kept this up for a while until I heard keys rattling outside the front door. It opened, then I listened to what sounded like Mum's footsteps coming in. I dropped my hand and listened as she ascended the stairs. Since my door was open, she saw me as soon as she came up. Her fashionably threaded brows rose up, visibly surprised to find me here this early.

"Aubrey?" she said, unconsciously signing as spoke. "What're you doing here already?"

How could I explain it? That after four years of trying so hard to keep this part of myself hidden, that I'd finally been discovered. I was outed. A fraud who pretended to be like them, when in reality, I'd never be the same as them again.

"Mum," I said, feeling the words choke up in my throat. "Everyone found out."

Her hand shot in front of her mouth, reflexively gasping. Mum played a massive role in my secret by ensuring every teacher who knew about me kept quiet. No pity, no whispers, no rumours, no inconveniencing classes by teaching them how not to treat me differently. No annoying people trying to get closer to me with the sole intention of feeling better about themselves or by looking good to others. I didn't want any of that. I didn't want to be that guy.

And now...

"Mum, I don't want to go back." My eyes started tearing up, but I bit my tongue, fighting the urge. She came and sat beside me, pulling me against her shoulder while she rubbed my back.

"Honey, what happened?" she asked, voice filled with more pain than I had the strength to listen to.

"Charlie bloody Rascal," I said, hating that I sounded more choked up than I intended. "The idiot just can't help himself."

"It wasn't on purpose?" she asked. "It wasn't maliciously done, then?"

We'd gotten along for all of thirty-five seconds before he ruined everything. Of course, he really didn't know about my aid. I could accept that it was a mistake, an accident, and that it wasn't done in maliciousness. I could see it on his face that he was just as shocked as I was.

To answer her question, I shook my head.

"Do you blame him?" Mum asked, stroking her fingers through my hair. Remembering his reaction that must've mirrored mine, I doubted he was any happier than me right now. Even though he did something stupid, he could never've known this'd happen.

Did I blame him? Did he deserve to be blamed? I didn't think so, so I shook my head. Of course, if he wasn't such an idiot to begin with... I didn't really know. I was conflicted, feeling my lips tremble. Tears starting to spill, I changed my answer to a shrug.

"Oh, honey," Mum cooed with sympathy just as her phone started going off. The sound of ringing came from her bag she left outside my door, so she stood up and made her way out. She picked it up and looked at the screen.