Chapter 22

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Song above is If You Want Love by NF
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Sighing, I pull on a pair of jeans and the NF hoodie I got last year from a meet and greet. Parker went on a run across the division this morning and won't answer any of my texts.

Kayla raps at my door.

"Ready?" she asks, bouncing inside.

"Yeah, just let me grab my shoes and we can go."

I pull my favorite pair of black and white Vans from the closet and slip them over my feet.

"Ready."

«3 hours later»

Kayla passes me my ticket as we walk to the entrance, barely escaping from that line with our lives.

"Tickets, please." The obviously bored bouncer sighs. Kayla and I fork over our tickets in return for wristbands. "Enjoy the show." He says in a monotone voice. Kayla and I nod in response before walking into the concert hall and staring in awe at the amount of people crowding around the deserted stage.

Stagehands wheel large speakers onto the stage and a drum set. Hundreds, no - thousands - of people swarm the inside, each of them searching for their aisle and seat. Kayla and I plop into the fourth row - how she did that, I don't even know - and wait patiently for Nate to take the crowd by storm. Maybe ten minutes later, the drummer begins to tap along with 'Dreams.'

"Yeah, most of my life's full of sad days. Started at a young age. Bought a house but I been livin' on stage, tryna find the real me...I ain't found it yet. Wake up every mornin' feelin' like I'm guilty, talk to God, 'Can you hear me?' Lately I'm a mess. I don't want no one to help me, I don't want no one to help me." He sings. Kayla and I watch in awe at the sight of him in his oversized grey shirt with his NF snapback. We continue to murmur his songs in sync with his rapping.

Nearing the end of the set, he switches to 'If You Want Love'. The music begins slowly at first, hardly even building at all.

I love NF, I really do, but he's gotta stop makin' me wanna cry at his songs in relation.

"Yeah, I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight. I just need a moment in my own space. Ask me how I'm doin', I say, 'Okay.' But ain't that what we all say?"

I sigh heavily at his digging words, picturing Parker in the palace, standing up for me - even when it was against his best friend.

"If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain. If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change. If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away."

Nate, if I cry, it's on you, buddy boy.

Kayla taps on my shoulder hurriedly. I face her with a look that says, "This better be good enough to interrupt my NF." She points nervously behind us at the entrance door, where Parker and Archer are standing intimidatingly. If I didn't know them, I'd presume them to be bodyguards. They both have on black hoodies and ripped jeans, but Parker has a casual hat that casts a shadow over his face to prevent any recognition, other than that, they're completing the 'bad boy' look oh-so craved by half the population.

...

Not me, of course.

...

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