Darling You'll Be Okay (Kellic Fanfiction)

What Are You So Scared Of?

Um... So guys. The end is near for this story, and I want to thank everyone who has stuck by me the whole way through! This is not the last chapter, however, the last chapter is coming very soon. I'm not sure if I'll make it next chapter or if I write a couple more before ending it, but there's not much else I can do with this story! I'll write a sequel to this, but if you guys have any suggestions for what I could add to this, please let me know! So again, thank you guys for sticking by my side through late updates and short chapters and grammatical errors and straight up spelling failures! I love you!

-Mayeflower

Kellin POV

I stood side-stage stretching and doing vocal warm-ups. My voice was pissing me off because it was really shaky. Jesse told me it was just my nerves, but I had never been so nervous before a show in a long time. I didn't want to think that butterflies were the reason that my voice sounded like shit. I didn't want my fans to be mad at me.

"Hey Kellin," Gabe put his hand on my shoulder. "I think you need to take a break. Why don't you come and talk to me for a few minutes before we have to go on stage?" I nodded my head gratefully.

Gabe put his drum sticks off to the side and brought me off to a little corner away from everyone else. We sat down, letting the world around us slow for a minute.

"Tell me Kellin, what are you so scared of?" He took my scarred wrist in his delicate hands. He didn't look at it, didn't acknowledge it, didn't even really show that he knew he grabbed it.

I looked at him for awhile. In all honesty, what was I so scared of? I mean, I knew what I was scared of, but why did they scare me so much? That was the real question I guess.

"I... I'm terrified of what the fans are gonna think of me, Gabe. Do you know how many times I've told my fans to be strong? To throw away their blades because their wrists are for bracelets, not for cutting? Well, look at mine! These scars are so ugly. And don't try pulling that 'oh Kellin, your scars are beautiful', because I hate when people try and romanticise self-harm. I used to do it, but it's so stupid. I don't want our fans to think I'm a hypocrite, even though I am. I went back on everything I've ever said. I don't want out fans to leave us because of my damn hipocrisy! That, Gabe, is what I'm so scared of." The tears welled in my eyes but I begged them not to fall. I didn't want to go on stage with red eyes.

"Kellin Quinn Bostwick, let me tell you something. I have seen the same fans you have. I have talked fans out of suicide so many times. Do you know how many blades I've taken from desperate hands? I've seen the same you have. And your fans, the ones who love you for you and not your looks, will support no matter what. They still love you even though you have super happy fun time with Vic! What makes you think they won't still be by your side through your tough time?"

"Because I don't deserve it." I whispered.

Deservation was a terrifying thing. I laid awake at night, wondering if I really deserved all the amazing things I had been given. I didn't think I deserved anything to be honest. I didn't deserve to be so famous, I didn't deserve to have such a loving fanbase, and I didn't deserve to have such a caring, amazing, perfect boyfriend.

"Kellin, you've worked so hard for everything you have right now. We started from the bottom. Without you, Sleeping With Sirens would be nothing. Everything you've obtained over these past few years has been from your blood, sweat, and tears. Nothing has been easy for us, and for you to say that you don't deserve any of it is so ridiculous. We care about you so much Kells." Gabe was a different kind of person. Jesse was like my brother, and we were super close, but he would never be able to understand me the way Gabe did. He was so intune to everyone's feelings. He was basically the momma of this band.