Life as His Lover!

Chapter: 6

Osamu Dazai's POV:

Thats it im dead.

I can't believe what I'v just done. Sending a note to chuuya saying I want to meet him? whats gotten into me??

But actually, I did it on purpose.Obviously.

Im just sorta nervous. C'mon im human too right?

I need to protect him at all costs . I'm not going to deny it, but I love him, My damn empty heart has someone to push it on.

I smile weakly at the floor. I know what im going to say, and its going to break his heart.And in the most simplest yet most effective way.

He needs to stop looking so hopefully at me. It could cause problems.

Serious problems.

I haven't seen him in so damn it long, we haven't even spoken to each other in  what, years?

I look up, feeling someones presence. And there he is. My- no  The little cute Chibi.

Without any thought, he comes launching at me with his fists balled up but ends up hugging me instead.I take an inner breath and push him away. He gives me a confused look. I can't do this.No I have to.

I glare directly into his eyes..and slap him.He cups his hurt cheek and whimpers "Dazai..?" I take a breath and continue to what will be the worst night ever in my life.

"Stop looking at me ok? YOUR affecting my work, so just get lost OKAY!? I didn't ask you to come here and be my boyfriend or whatever!"

"The f*ck you on a about?! You asshole! I swear...You scared the hell out of me all those years ago when you left!"He yelled.

"You shouldn't look so hopeful that I'll come and kiss you then, I don't need my colleages to think that I have anything with you." I said.

I can't have Mori find out that we were in a relationship, he might find out that we have feelings for each other.He might hurt Chuuya.

He looked like he was going to go on a rage.Knowing him, he probably would.

I turn around without taking a second glance behind me.He doesn't understand the pain I had while doing that. He doesn't understand the tears that are flowing down my cheeks right now.

And just like that,I leave.

Nakahara Chuuya's POV:

Why?

I don't understand.

I run back home mind jumbled, wanting to hug someone.Anyone.I wish that person was Dazai. But it cant and never will be. I...want to drink Vodka.I smile. Seriously? Thats what I want to do?Now? Is that how I deal with this?

I suppose so.

My head hurts. 

I enter home crying loudly which alerts Taeyang.She spins around from the seat and stares confused and scared. I can barley scream out my feelings with how upet I am. That freacking asshole is going to pay.

Im practically tearing the hair out of my head when Akira enters bothered by the noise.One by one they see me completely messed up with puffed up eyes. 

I soon calm down and stay quiet .But not from the inside.

I keep looking down and then look up to see the time.Its time for dinner.I quietly get up and look through the cabinets as if nothing at all happened.Wow.

They all quietly walk up to the table and sit down while Haru still stands up. I give them all empty plates. My mind feels fuzzed. I get a bottle of strong wine and  take a huge gulp of it. I sit down and bring a few more bottles down. They still have empty plates.

"I-im um hungry" Taeyang blurts out. "mMm woUld yOU liKe sOme wiiNNee?" I say, already drunk. "um no-" "cOmE oNNN" I say forcing the mouth piece of the bottle into her mouth, Haru immediately steps up and flings the bottle away.

"hEEEyyyy wUts yoOURR pRobLLeM hUh?" I say upset. He gives me a strange look.I guess the problem was me. I take one more  sip of it and completely black out.

Whats with me always blacking out? This is what I get for being lightweight isn't it?

The next day I wake up to find a blanket on top of me and Taeyang next to me at the table.Memories of yesterday flood in to my mind. "um are you alright?" she says smiling. "am I ..alright?I mean yes I am." we stare into each others eyes for some time. She cares about me?

 I fling my body up and hug her tight."Thanks..for understanding." well wasn't that random? She looks hella confused and I stop for a second saying. "you wont leave me right? I'm so sorry about yesterday.I was drunk. I - I love you"

She blushes and looks away saying in a soft voice"M-me too I guess"

My body flung over from the hangover and she rushes to my side laughing.

Over that following week, she and me sorta bond.Not really close, but enough to make me happy.