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THANA KNOWS ABOUT the darkness, of course, but it is so easy to forget other know it too, maybe even better. The darkness comes in many forms, that is for certain. A looming presence, or maybe a fleeting cloud. Thana knows like every victor that right now, all newly turned tributes as victors feel the darkness seep through their veins. Clouding every thought and making them calculate every word and movement. There is no hope. Not yet at least. Hope is for fools, at least in this situation. Thana is sure that no matter what happens or whatever gets said; the games will go on. There is a reason after all that president Snow announces this quarter quell. There are no stars in this darkness looming over the districts, the only lights created by a teenager. Little fires that light up little parts of streets. Thana knows of them, she has seen them, heard of them, little sparks uniting the people of the districts.
There is little care in Thana appearance as she sits, just like every other tribute, in the waiting room. Latif on one side, and Peter from district 10 on her other side. Thoughts ruminate her brain while she softly hears the sound of a clock ticking. No matter how hard she tries, she can't block it out. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. Time passes, many tributes have already left the area for their individual assessment. Little can be hard through the tick walls, and Thana can only hope Johanna made a lot of noise. Thana's leg softly starts to bop up and down, with every passing second it goes faster. Not because of nervosity for the assessment, no, all for the anxiety creeping in her body at the thoughts of all that still has to come.
"Thana?" Latif breaks Thana's thoughts as he softly whispers in her ear. The sister slowly raising her head to look into her brother's eyes. "Together?" Latif asks, falling back on their thing, their saying. Their together forever, their partners in crime till the very end. An end that seems to be nearing with every passing moment.
"Together?" Jack whispers softly in Thana's ear, the girl temporarily stuck in her mind. Thinking about her brother, about how they always link their hands together, claiming to be together forever.
"Together," Thana's voice cracks as she and Jack give each other a try at a genuine smile in hopes of easing each other's worries, each other's pain.
"Together," Thana whispers to Latif, wiping off a tear, "till the very end."
"Report for individual assessment," the voice booms again, "Thana Jardin, district 9."
Thana gets up, her knees cracking as she leaves the room and walks to the entrance of the training room. A room she knows all too well by now. The game makers up there, sitting on their stupid chairs, consuming drinks, and foods. Laughing, because even though she is a victor, why would they care about her life? That life is very unimportant to them, there are lots of victors and only one of them. Well, to Thana it is the same; lots of game makers, only one of her. And her life is at serious risk at the moment, something those privileged game makers don't give a shit about.
But anyway, Thana walks to the middle of the room where she takes place at the huge X mark. Her surroundings tell her nothing about what happened in here before her, or what could've happened. The room looks almost sterile, not a single weapon a single degree off.
"Thana Jardin," Thana's voice rings, almost echoes through the room, "district 9."
"You have five minutes," a game maker Thana recognises as Plutarch Heavensbee says as he moves forward giving her all his attention. "Miss Jardin."
Thana smiles softly to herself, feeling a weird kind of irony as she realises that once again, she didn't make a plan for her five minutes of fame. Not that she cares right now. No, she feels the presence of Jack and she knows that it shall all be okay.
Without a care in the world, Thana takes a seat on the cold floor. Closing her eyes briefly before reopening and seeing Jack sit right beside her.
"My dear game makers," Thana starts, looking directly at them and to her surprise everyone is looking back at her. "The name of this poem is: The saddest noise, the sweetest noise."
Confused stares reach the girl through the force fields, but the victor turned tribute doesn't care. No, she wants them to feel her pain, and that pain spreads like wild fires.
"The saddest noise, the sweetest noise, The maddest noise that grows, - The birds, they make it in the spring, At night's delicious close." Thana links her hand with Jack's, smiling at the boy.
"Between the March and April line – That magical frontier Beyond which summer hesitates, Almost to heavenly near." There is no crack in Thana's voice as she lets the words float.
"It makes us think of all the dead That sauntered with us here, By separation's sorcery Made cruelly more dear." A soft squeeze, that is what Thana feels, her lungs are tight as she tries to keep her emotions down.
"It makes us think of what we had, And what we now deplore. We almost wish those siren throats Would go and sing no more." Thana blinks away her tears.
"An ear can break a human heart As quickly as a spear, We wish the ear had not a heart So dangerously near."
Thana raises her head to look at the game makers as she gets up. Standing on the X mark one last time. As she bows tears threaten to spill, the girl never thinking she would get this emotional over reciting her own poem.
"You are dismissed miss Jardin," Plutarch says, motioning for the girl to leave which she does without looking back at the game makers.
As soon as the girl gets into the elevator, tears spill. Everything within Thana hurts. Her heart, her brain, but most importantly her soul. Darkness floods through her veins, waiting for lighting to strike to put her out of misery. A storm within herself, one that has been growing for a few years, but no lighting ever strikes. It grows and grows and grows, it is torture that never ends. It only grows, but at certain moments is eases lightly, soft moments between Thana and her loved ones make life bearable even though, the floods never stop. The circling in her head never stops, it feels like madness. A normal side effect if she must believe Arthur and Rohan. But who wants to settle for madness? All Thana ever dreamed of was the quiet life, a life she now will never ever get. A life that flew away the day she was reaped for the 72nd hunger games. No more cosy evenings, warm mornings, the comfort of a good night of sleep. The tears just keep on falling.
