Restart (Kiwi X F.OC)

-A Ghost-

(Yes a pov switch will come but for now you stuck with Kiwi :3)

I sat in the small alcove bed, I couldn't bother stopping her from bringing me back here.

My arms hung between my legs as I stared at my hands.

I... I am at fault here... I caused this... I killed them.

I shifted my elbows on my knees and leaned my head in my hands.

I felt a few hair strands pulled out under my tight hold on my own hair but I didn't care.

Why did I even do this? Why did I betray them? Was it really out of fear for the rogue deckhead that turned out to be Lucy? Was it really because I feared for my own life? I could have just asked... Talked to her or even David, I am sure one of them would have told me.

I just wanted to live and that choice brought everything to the end for those I cared for.

I hit one of my fists against my head as I rested my forehead against my knees and looped my arms around my head.

This is Night City, all paths lead to being forgotten or being remembered as a legend after death... But why did it need to be you?

I sighed heavily, I was so selfish, I should have trusted in the crew, confided in them about my worries instead of teaming up with that damned Faraday to catch who turned out to be the girl I taught.

I am so sorry Lucy, wherever you are...

I lifted my head, looking at my neatly folded coattail coat (IDK what that clothing it called or if it is actually the name, it is for now) on top of a pile of my old clothes, Lucy had found it with many of its sort in a carton box in a dumpster because it wouldn't wouldn't sell or something, I don't remember, and brought one too me.

"You can't be all dead." I refused to believe, David and Rebecca are done but Falco, Lucy. I haven't seen you dead, I need to make sure, even if it comes with more guilt.

I stood up, having made up my mind and in a swift movement pulling the lent T-shirt over my head and discarding the sweatpants, messing up the neat pile to find my pants and long sleeved top before throwing the coat on and buttoning it up.

I pulled it away to see squares of off colored red patches stitched in over where the gunshot holes had been made, they were not discreet but the stitching was really meticulously done.

I rubbed my neck, well if my wounds were taken care off that good, they'd be healed already and here I am two months after they were made, still not healed from them... Stop complaining Kiwi, you are alive, that's what counts.

"Look at who's getting all dressed up." I heard as I put on my boots.

"I need to head home." I simply stated. "I'll repay you later for the care but I'll leave now."

"I wouldn't advise." The weird woman blocked the way by putting her body in the door frame and her knee up on the other side of it. "From what I know your crew is gone lady, the Sandevistan from Santo is dead, if his gone you think the gonk of Smasher would leave the others alive?"

"I don't care, I need to find out for myself." I pushed her, seeing she wouldn't stop me and she didn't.

"I tell yah choom, heartache awaits you, it always does in this world, Night City is not kind." She shook her head, two robotic arms grabbing the ground as she sat back on them as if they were a chair. "I've seen my share of psychos and being zeroed and I tell yah, this stinks of it."

"I said I need to find out for myself, they could have gotten away. The chances are small and they exist."

".... Arg!" I jerked as she slapped herself before pinching her nose and looking at me as she grabbed an already lit cigarette off the ashtray that was on a little table near to her. "Why do I care anyway? Do as yah want choom as long as I get my Eddies from it, I want them by the end of the week or trust me, not even 'Saka's lapdog could keep me from selling your parts away to the next best buyer."

"I fulfill my end of the deal, you'll get your Eddies."

"Nova." She laughed, staying seated as her arm and another robotic one waved at the door in sync with her real one. "Then see you, you better stay true to your word, go and delta now."

"I have nothing to lose." I said, walking away, offering her a wave of dismissal.

----------------------------------------

I walked with my hands in my pocket, I tried to summon my motorbike with its key, the self driving system would bring it here but it didn't react, keys flashing red showing they were not paired to any vehicle.

The walk home was silent outside of the heavy pouring rain drenching all. Lucky me, my coat was water proof tho my pants, hair and just about any other piece of me or clothing suffered the sever weather as the wind harshly yanked it and rubbed the water in.

I looked up at the building I was nearing, people living their lives away in the sight of windows.

I entered the mega building, leaving a trail of water behind me.

I pressed the elevator button a few time but it just sparked and the number didn't change so I got to climbing the stairs.

It was a long and quiet walk, only the spong-like sounds of my steps with these sopping shoes filled the quiet, once in a while the wind would blow the water against the glass side of the spiraling staircase, some times lightning illuminating the way as almost dead purple LEDs were guiding me along.

I arrived too my floor finally and walked too my door but a red holo came up.

"What?" I hissed. "What do you mean apartment for rent contact the landlord?" I asked, pulling out the physical key-card to open the door and swiped it but it flashed red, denied again.

I watched in confusion, why is nothing working?

"It's like I'm a ghost or something." I said before I got a thought.

I marched away from the door and sat on the bench in the hallway, legs crossed at the knees and arms crossed too as I looked at the holos that popped up, navigating them with my eyes.

Many people wouldn't understand this but in the lines of code I could easily find my way, see images and texts, it was just like reading words off a paper for me, the more hidden parts of the net that a normal person could never access.

I chuckled softly as Faraday's 'deceased' designation, that's what you deserve you scumbag corpo fixer.

I reached out in shock, wanting to touch what I saw but couldn't, no crematorium had registered Rebecca, Falco or Lucy while David was logged in dead.

"So you three are alive." I whispered but one scroll down shot my momentary happiness to dust. 

I was.... Registered as deceased.

I clicked the file and it said I died to blood loss and it was even written where my urn was kept.

I search more, looking in broad strokes, finding out all I ever had, done and was tied to was off the net, there was no skeleton anywhere.

Nothing can disappear off the net to this level, it is like I never existed, only the corpos can get something like this done.

"You 'Saka Svoluch." I hissed.

I stopped searching, sitting there, I was gone, nothing remained, they made sure I was dead without being dead but that they didn't know I guess... They must have assumed a scavenger got me...

I covered my face with a hand, why must life be so unfair?

I am nothing but a ghost.