Birth Of My Son

Samu

It wasn't necessarily that I expected to take complete focus on Samuel. I didn't expect to have the connection with him that I did.

From the minute he was born I was bonded to Samuel. He was my least clingy baby, and that gave me some sort of insecurity. He was such a precious creature to me, and he always wanted to be independent.

I could see the bitterness and jealousy that Marína and Ánder were having. They were jealous of all the time I spent carrying Samuel and how often I tried to focus on him. It wasn't that I liked or loved him more, I was just bonded with him the most.

"My sweet baby," I whispered to him as I breastfeed him at dinner. We were having dinner with just the four of us, and Daniel was feeding me since I had to hold Samuel.

"That's not fair!" Ánder whined, his voice whiney.

"What's not fair?"

"You keep saying Samu is sweet. ¡El no sabe nada!"

"He's just a baby," Daniel tried to reason.

"Exactly!" Ánder screamed, suddenly angry.

"¡Tienes que comportarte!" Daniel said in return. "¡Deja de hacer un berrinche!"

Ánder stomped his foot and stood up, fist clenched, before he stormed off out the door, calling for Carmen.

"Just let him breathe," Daniel sighed. "He's just jealous."

---

Samuel was crawling on the floor, his tiny fists clenched together as he made his way slowly to the toys Ánder and Marína were playing with. I was watching a soccer game with Daniel - Cruz Azul vs Puebla.

"Go, go!" Daniel was yelling. "¡Pase para adelante! ¡Pase a Hernández!"

"Para el tipo con la cresta... creo," I said, not knowing much about soccer to this day.

Samu crawled towards his siblings successfully and knocked over one of the blocks they built. 

"Samuel knocked them over!" Ánder groaned. "Bad, Samu! ¡Mala!"

But, Samuel didn't understand his brother's tone, and he giggled as he knocked another block over.

"No!" whined the oldest, moving the blocks from the youngest. But, Samuel crawled back to the blocks and knocked them over once more. "Stop it!"

"Ab-add-duh," said Samuel as he picked up a block and examined it before putting it in his gummy mouth.

"Samu!" Ánder fussed. "Mom, he's eating the blocks!"

"Just let him," I said, taking a sip of my Coke.

"But we're playing with them!"

"He's a baby, he just wants something to do," I said, turning to look at them. "He just wants to play with the blocks."

"But he's eating them and getting them all slobbery!"

"Eso es justo lo que hace," Daniel said, still watching the screen. "¡Corres! ¡Correr!"

"In the net-thing!" I yelled.

"Go! Go!"

"You guys aren't listening!" Ánder whined.

"Ánder, just let him play with you guys."

"But he's being annoying and eating our toys!" he fussed, before throwing himself on the floor.

"Ánder, stop that or you're going to your room."

Ánder began sobbing on the floor, throwing a complete tantrum. Daniel sighed and picked him up, taking him to his room as he protested.

I looked over at  Marína. She was simply taking away the blocks Samuel was chewing, and putting them right back. When he'd take a new one, she'd take it back without a car. A gross process, without a doubt, but they weren't whining at least.

"Marína, do you think I spend too much time con Samu?" I asked. 

She nodded. "Want Mommy," she said as she walked over to me and stretched out her arms. I held her tight and cuddled her, before hearing a crash that was without a doubt the blocks, followed by Samuel's laughter.

"He's just a little baby," I reminded her.

"I know," she said. 

Marína was rather talkative for someone who wasn't even 2. However, her older brother was in his "terrible 2's" phase, though he'd turned 3 a few months ago (it was August).

---

"Mommy has to pay special attention to Samu, and Papi does too," Daniel tried to explain to Ánder as he put him down for bed. I was listening from the doorframe - secretly, of course.

"Why?"

"Porque el es el bebé. No puede hacer nada."

"Necessita ayuda?"

"Yeah, he needs help. When he's eating your toys, he's learning. Babies learn really slowly, and he is just learning. We give him to much attention because babies need to be looked at constantly. We have to watch him to know he's safe because he doesn't know anything. You and your sister can sometimes think before doing something bad, but he doesn't. He doesn't know anything."

"Papi?"

"Yes, bud?"

"Does Mommy like Samuel more than me?"

"Of course not," Daniel insisted. "She loves you, your sister, and your brother the same. I remember when Mom had you in her tummy and when you came out, and Mommy was so happy. She's still so happy when she's around you. She loves you just as much as she loves Samu. She just has to pay attention to him because he needs it."

"Does he need you?"

"Babies need their Mom a little bit more. She gives him milk, and she was the one who carried him before he was born. He just relies on her."

Ánder nodded and snuggled into his blankets. "Te amo, Papi."

"Te amo, mijo."

Daniel kissed Ánder's forehead before leaving and seeing me outside.

"He'll be fine, he's just jealous. How is Marína doing?"

"She's fine," I said. "She doesn't seem jealous. I think she's just happy to have someone else around. She's just happy to be here."

"Good, good," Daniel huffed. "We have some good kids, I think."

"I agree," I said. "We're very lucky."

"You parent them so well."

"Don't give me sole credit, you're an amazing Papi."

He just nodded and sighed. "Do you think... do you think Ánder will get used to having more siblings? I mean, if we have another..."

"He will definitely get used to it. He loves his sister, and he'll love Samu more as he ages. He's just in his toddler stage so he's whiney about everything and wants all the attention. Samu and he will be tight someday, I know that much."

Daniel wrapped his arms around me and kissed me lovingly.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he responded.

"Want to have sex?"

"You read my mind."