Moonlight Kisses

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part one of double update <3

I search my hazy mind for any ideas, yet no good ones worthwhile come. "Never have I ever..." I trail off, tilting my head back as if the stars will give me the answer. There's so many stars out tonight. Usually they're clouded by smog and clouds, but tonight each one is shining bright, making itself apparent against the pitch black sky. Every small white light swimming gracefully in a sea of darkness.

"Never have I ever gone skinny dipping," I finally blurt out. Chuckling to myself as multiple girls in our circle formation down another shot as the 'consequence' to this game. To my curiosity, but not my surprise, Sophie reaches beside her to take a swig from her flask that was once full to the brim with straight vodka.

Straight vodka, I laugh to myself. Not gay.

The alcohol I've been consuming for the last three hours has had plenty of time to submerge itself into my foggy brain. That's not a shocker by any means.

My next drink will be water, I swear it.

As if I haven't told myself that dozens of times already.

I shake my head clear of my thoughts. At the same time, Kelsey perks up excitedly. She sets her drink down between us and clasps her hands together. "Okay, okay, I've got one," she smiles cunningly, making all of us lean in in anticipation, "Never have I ever had sex in a public place." She immediately slaps her hand over her mouth, watching as some girls take drinks while the remainder of them stay jaw-dropped in shock. Reluctantly, I raise my cup to my lips and take a rather indulgent sip.

When I lift my eyes from the shrinking level of my pink lemonade-vodka combination, they flit right to Kelsey. Her slacked jaw and wide eyes tell me she wasn't expecting me to be one of the girls taking a drink. "Seriously?" she asks, "Where?" Curiosity lights up in her caramel-colored eyes.

I lick my lips, stealing every last drop of sugary liquor lingering on my top lip. I lean in closer to not talk so loudly, even though our voices could be very well hidden among all the bubbly chatter. "At school, once in his car and another in a janitor's closet," I admit with a giggle. If I had stayed sober like I'd planned to when we first got here, I know I would have been too shy to reveal intimate details like that. But right now, my mouth is a spewing faucet, unable to control what comes out. In my inebriated mind, there is no such thing as a wrong time to say something or a wrong person to confide in. I feel way too comfortable in my surroundings and with the people in them and it shows.

Kelsey's eyes go as wide as saucers as a sly grin appears on her lips, showing off her glowing smile. "I never took you for that kind of girl," she giggles, nudging my arm teasingly.

"No one ever does, but here I am," I shrug.

Sophie taps me on the shoulder lightly. I turn to her a little too fast, my head begins to spin before she opens her mouth to say anything. My hand moves to cup her knee, my firm grip letting her know that I'm fine and to just give me a couple seconds. Before long, my vision stops swaying, and her face shadowed by color changing lights in the background becomes clear again. "You and Kels wanna come dancing? Me and Ramona are gonna head over there," she says with the faint hint of a slur. For sure she's had a lot more to drink than me. When I was taking it slow at first out of apprehensiveness, she was going to town on the open bar. And during his half-hour long game of Never Have I Ever she got a lot of points checked off, therefore had more shots to take. Despite that, she can handle her liquor better than I can, by a fucking long shot.

"You sure you can walk over there?" I half-joke. I'll be concerned if she genuinely can't take a step in front of her, but until that occurs, I won't worry myself. Being drunk is the only thing that can put my concern for others on the back burner. It can be both a good and a bad thing. Good because I'm not wearing myself out trying to help others all at once but bad I tend to do and say things I don't really mean.