LOVELESS

Chapter 45

"You want me to fall back with the questions?"

"Nah. Just give me some time. This is a lot."

"I know. That's why I had to come out of retirement for this. You're so closed-off, I'm still in shock that you're even here," he says jokingly.

Sam chuckles and then takes a deep breath. "...She cheated on me, and I thought I was over it until I saw her last week."

"How did you find out she cheated?"

"I caught her."

"Man. Sorry to hear that. Was she the first to ever cheat on you?"

"She was my first and last relationship."

"Wow. That says a lot. Is she the reason you never gave any of these church women a chance?"

"Well, I wouldn't talk to any of these women here. But outside of church, yeah that's the reason."

The pastor smirks at the former. "Would you say you were in love with her?"

"Nah."

"Honestly?"

"When have you known me to lie?"

"True. Well what did you feel for her then?"

"I loved her but I was never in love with her."

"Have you ever told her you loved her?"

"...Unfortunately."

"Do you love Yemi?"

Sam just stares at him, not wanting to answer the question.

"Come on Sam, don't give up now. You're doing well."

Sam sighs before looking towards the window. "...Yeah."

"Yeah, you love her?"

Sam looks back at him and nods.

"Does she know that?"

"... No."

"Have you not told her because you're afraid you'll regret saying it just like you regret putting your guard down with Jasmine?"

Sam chuckles. "You're good."

The pastor shrugs, smiling at Sam's observation.

"One more question.... when you called me last week, you told me that you think you may still have feelings for your ex. What was the first thing that came to your mind when you saw her?"

"When I first met her? Or last week?"

"Last week."

"How she cheated."

"Alright, so what type of feelings are you referring to? Because it sounds like you despise her."

"You asked for my first thought. My next thought was me wondering how things would've been if I had never caught her cheating."

"Ahhh. Got it."

"I don't want to be with her, though. I only want Yemi, so I don't know why that thought came up."

"Correct me if I'm wrong. But I believe it's because everything before the cheating was great, so because she was your first and last partner, your mind is trapped in those good times."

"P, we were so good that I would've never thought she would even look at another man. Being a good boyfriend to her was one of my priorities."

"That's it."