chapter eleven

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ava's pov.

me and billie sat like this for awhile. when i finally hear no more sniffles, i let go slowly, and sit down in front of her. she won't even look at me. i sigh and look down.

"why did you come?" she asks, still not making eye contact with me.

"jah said you were upset." i said, not wanting to throw him under the bus.

she sighs and looks up at me finally. "i have a real complicated life ava. i push everyone away. it's a habit, i only trust my brother 100%. and whenever i care for someone, it goes to shit. so i just chose not to care for anyone."

i gulp and nod. "you don't care about me then?" i fight the tears, as my assumptions are becoming reality.

she just stares at me, and gets up. "thank you for coming but i don't know why jah asked for you, you should go." she says as she walks out.

i am so confused. people say one thing and she does completely different. i'm so sick of being upset over her, i don't even know why i'm so hung up on her.

i get up and i look around the room, and my ocd kicks in, and i start cleaning. i do this sometimes when i get anxiety. i go to the bathroom connected to the room, and i find a broom, and i start sweeping up all the glass. i put the mattress on the bed. i cringe when i look at the sheets, remembering what i saw when i walked in at the party.

i put all the dresser pieces back together, and i wipe things down with the lysol wipes i found in the bathroom. when i finish, i sigh and walk out the room.

i walk down the stairs to see jayvin, manny, and jah on the couch.

jayvin eyes widen. "yo ava i never thought i'd see you here again."

jah sighs. "i brought her for billie, how'd it go is she good?"

i shrug. "it was okay at first, but then she just walked out, and told me to leave. i was just gonna, i just cleaned the room first.

manny pats on the couch. "come chill for bit, this our house too, bil will get over it."

i nod, and go sit. but i already knew it was a bad idea.

"do you know where she is?" i asked

they all shake their heads.

"sometimes bil just walks out and is gone for hours, then shows back up." jah said.

i nod. "i think maybe i should just leave her be, i clearly bother her. and she basically told me she didn't care about me so.

they all chuckle.

"she's fucking lying out her ass, believe me." jayvin says while laughing. "she's hardheaded as fuck, she'd never admit it, but you cutting her out your life, been eating her alive."

i look at them and look down. i go to answer but i was interrupted by a door swinging open.

"yo jayvin, i met up with ivan's brother and he wants us to flip this bud, and sell this coke for him." billie says, walking towards the couch, not noticing me.

she looks at him, and then her eye catches me.
her bag is open and is full of weed and coke. my eyes widen.

"i thought i told you to fucking leave ava." she says through her teeth, getting angry.

i freeze and i see jayvin get up. "bil chill, she was just talking to us for a minute, she cleaned up the room for you."

she laughs. "i didn't ask you to clean it for me, i asked you to leave." she shakes her head and walks towards the back door. "i'm going to the sun room to bag this shit. get the fuck out ava." she spats, going out the door to the sunroom.

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