Don't Give Up On Me ✔

Chapter 61 ~ Intentionally trying to hurt me

Luke/Lucas' POV

There's a knock on my bedroom door and just by the sound, I can tell who it is. I already know why she is at my door. She's finally made her decision. Don't ask me how I know this, but I do. I've had this weird feeling about it for the past two days. I also know that it isn't me that she picked. One mistake. It took one single mistake to lose the girl who I've been in love with for more than half of my life. One stupid mistake is the reason why I'm losing the girl who saved my life when she didn't even know it. I would be dead if it wasn't for her, and she doesn't know it.

Part of me doesn't know what to do. Do I accept her decision? Do I beg her to change her mind? Do I just leave for forever? I've lost my sunshine because of one stupid mistake, but it isn't really one mistake. There were many mistakes made, but it was that one mistake she couldn't get over.

My first mistake was moving away, but that wasn't really my mistake, was it? I didn't have a choice in that matter, but I should have contacted her once we moved. I know my dad didn't want me too, but my mom did. I regret not contacting her, but there's nothing I can do about that now. I should have taken my mom's advice, but I couldn't bear to leave her side to even make a short phone call. I knew my mom wasn't well and I wanted to spend every last second of her life by her side.

My second mistake was not telling her who I really was when I moved back. Instead I let her think I was some mysterious 'bad boy.' Yep, that was stupid on my part. This mistake leads into my third mistake, her being bullied. I should have stopped it from the beginning. Granted I didn't know it was as bad as it really was but that still not an excuse. I should have never let anyone hurt her. Isla always protected me when we were younger. I should have protected her. I failed her.

My fourth mistake was introducing her to Hayden. Okay, maybe in some ways it wasn't a mistake, but while it hasn't been confirmed yet, I'm pretty sure she's choosing Hayden. It's my fault. He stepped up and was there for her when she needed someone while I let my anger and ego get in the way.

My fifth mistake was thinking that she was intentionally trying to hurt me. With how long I've known Isla, I knew better. She will go out of her way to make things better; she would never hurt me on purpose. Plus, I was just being plain stupid. Even if she was ignoring me, which she wasn't, but if she was, she had every right too. I said some really ugly things that were uncalled for and her parents had just died. HER PARENTS HAD JUST DIED, and all I could do was think of myself.

My sixth mistake was wanting to hurt her and hurting her. I said things to her that were uncalled for. I also called her the same names that Chelsea and everyone else was calling her. Isla is not a slut, and yet I called her one. She's been called names like that since freshman year. She hears it over a hundred times a day, but none of that hurts her as bad as me saying it just once to her. But I didn't say just once, did I? No, I said it over and over again.

Through all of that, she forgave me and forgot about it. Up until my seventh mistake. Making out with Chelsea. Hell, I didn't even know Isla was going to show up and see me kissing her, but she did. My fate with Isla was sealed with that one kiss from Chelsea. Chelsea wanted to destroy Isla, but instead, she has destroyed me. Because of Chelsea, I have to let the love of my life go. All because of one stupid mistake.

Isla's knocking on my door brings me back to reality. "Come in."

Isla walks in slowly. I see the fear in her. She's afraid to tell me that she wants to be happy and be in a relationship, in a relationship that isn't with me. She wasn't supposed to give up on me, and she hasn't, but she has. She doesn't want to give up on our friendship, but she's given up on us ever being more than friends. The crazy part right now, is I can make it where no one in this house is able to claim her heart. All I have to say is if she decides to date one of the other guys in this house, then it would be too hard for me to stay. She doesn't want to lose me again. I know she doesn't. I know it is one of her biggest fears. I have so much power over and at the same time, none at all. I can have her turn her back on everyone in this house and she would just keep me in her life and yet she won't give me her heart. I've always been able to read her like an open book, which is probably why none of this came as a surprise to me. Of course, I would never have her turn her back on her friends, but on being in a relationship with one of them, that's a different story. Especially if it's Hayden.

Could I really do that to her though? Could I really make her sacrifice her happiness for mine? But the real question is, can I still live under the same roof as her knowing she isn't mine? Can I set aside my happiness for the happiness of the girl I love, the girl I want, the girl I so badly need?

"Um Luke, can we talk?" She whispers.

No. Never. Not if it's about you giving your heart to someone besides me. "Sure, Sunshine."

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A/N: Yes, this is a very short chapter. Sorry about that, but the chapter was more to get an idea on what's going through Luke's head. ~KarenJ128~