Life after Jordan

A Week Later

Over the past week Brody and I have been thrown into some difficult situations.

Ive gotten used to him sleeping in my bed. He keeps his promise and never tries anything. I, on the other hand, always wake up cuddled up to him. He's in the same position he went to sleep in but I'm on his side with my arm draped over his chest. I don't think he minds or maybe he does and after my panic attack he doesn't want to say anything.

Abigail hasn't really been home much. She's always working it seems. I don't think she's really working as much as she is playing.

With Abi not here, Brody and I have gotten a lot closer. He's a really really good person. He still reminds me so much of Jordan. I blame that on the fact that now he's been gone 7 months.

Speaking of Brody, he's moving out today. Which kind of sucks. Since he's been here I've been happier. I don't cry as much, but when I do Brody is there for me. I honestly don't know what I'll do with myself now that he's gone. Enough thinking....

I snuggle my head against Brody's chest and wrap my arm a little tighter around him. I feel like I'm betraying Jordan but then again this is the worst we've done. I don't want anyone right now sexually speaking. However, it's nice to have a good friend like Brody. I think I just missed having someone to hold me at night. Brody doesn't realize it but he's fighting off my monsters.

As my thoughts jumble themselves up and I rest my eyes, Brody stirs in his sleep. Then he does something different. He turns on his side and pulls me into his chest. I gasp at the sudden movement and try not to wake him. I put one hand under my head and the other lays limp near his.

I silently say a prayer to the man above that I shaved my legs. I feel my eyelids grow heavy but for some reason I can't fall asleep.

Suddenly, Brody tightens his grip on me and pulls me closer to him. I hear him mumble and his hand tightens into a fist, balling my shirt up.

"Brody your okay." I say as I grab his hand gently.

"Stop.. no..." He grumbles.

I turn to face him and I shake him gently.

"Brody wake up. It's just a dream." I say quietly.

"Stop!" He yells as he sits straight up. I see his body shake as I sit up and pull him into an embrace.

"Brody it's okay. I'm here." I whisper into his ear.

"Emma I'm sorry." He says quietly.

I don't say anything. I pull him closer and rub his back. He relaxes after a long time but he never attempts to pull away.

"I guess we both have some skeletons in our past." I say with a smile into his shoulder.

"Yeah." He replies. I suddenly remember that Jordan liked having back massages when he was like this.

"Lay down on your stomach. I have just the cure." I say as I let him go. He complies and lays down.

"Well I guess this would be easier if you took your shirt off." I say shyly. He doesn't say anything as he slides his shirt off and lays back down.

I pull open my bottom drawer and find the unscented men's lotion. I put some on my hands and rub it a little so it's not so cold. I place my hands gently on his back and I rub the lotion in.

I start soft as I find the knots and kinks in his back. I grab them out one by one. I put a little more lotion on my hands and run it a little slower on his back. He doesn't really need it but I want to admire his back a little more before I move to his shoulders.