Dead instincts

Chapter 7: the childhood I thought I had

*it was a dark and stormy night as you could hear thunder,lightning...... And puppets, dolls with human faces, murderers from historic times or different movies, but what shocked the most was me slamming a big rock into the bead and of Chucky the doll as he cried out for help repeatedly well repeatingly sayings "wanna play?". As I was covered in cuts with different colored blood all over the place as this was a test to see if I could faced my fears.*

"Die! *Smash* You! *Slam* Crazy! *Crack* murderous! *Blam* f*****!..."

*I dropped the rock onto his body and took out a cigarette and started to light it so I could smoke underneath a tree, but as Chucky move the Rock he got up pissed off while trying to find a way to get to me without me knowing but he probably didn't care at this point but to just kill me as he saw the knife that I was holding on, he grabbed it and ran at me but as he ran he didn't notice the wire as he got caught by it and exploded all over the place and tripped as two trees fell onto him in while under the trees I threw a cigarette into the branches and on to him as the tree started to burn with him. I watched as he burned making sure that he stayed dead......... As I watched him burn I wonder to myself, what was I like before all this...... As I thought to myself I started to think of who I might have been.*

"When I think about my past, all I can do is look at my wounds..... I figured that when I was a kid I probably had siblings but barely got to even know them, I had a dad but so did my siblings, I had a mom but never really considered her to be one."

"What I can remember is waking up to lashings by my mom for defending myself and defending a kid my same age....... She didn't care if it hurt me and she didn't care how would it affect me...... All she cared about was what what happened now than later.........
We ate small and we also eat cheap, one brother one sister and one step brother....... I can't remember their names but I can remember their faces...... When I was 7 I saw my own mom bleed by the hands of my brother's father..... on the outside I cried for my mother and try to protect her but on the inside..... I had a twisted grin on my face and laughed my ass off because of the fact that she deserved every single last drop of blood running down her face. I ended up trying to make friends in the neighborhood before I moved and then I pushed a girl in a wheelchair down a hill and let her hit every single bar down........ that was the first time I saw death in the eyes...... when I got older, I decided to running away to be a musician, that was the hardest thing I could ever do at the age of 15..... Always sleeping feeling like tomorrow might be my last day or which place will I be at next or whose home will I be at?
Until my mom put a warrant out on me and reported that whoever had me would be arrested........ I think my mom was dating a policeman at the time. Me and her would get into fights on a daily basis and when I got angry I would go out at night and take prey on anyone that was doing drugs or selling it, or killing........ You might wonder is there a difference between what I was doing and what they were doing? Simple.
I was taking out my anger on every last person who deserved it.
"Thou shalt not steal what isn't already broken" that's what I used to say..... I ended up going to jail when my mom frame to me for trying to stab my brother...... I ended up falling out of a window and being put into the hospital......... My hospital bill was high and I ended up leaving the hospital as nobody was willing to pay for my bills........ With a pain in my back and fingers damaged plus ribs broken...... I felt like there was no other option but to try to die....... Every single time somebody try to stop me or just wouldn't work properly........ Overdosing on drugs, hanging myself, trying to find a way out that it just wasn't there. The only problem with trying to use a knife was the fact that every time I did I was too afraid to do it in front of other people and every time I try to somebody popped up in the most random manner.
Anyway that's how I got here, that is how it all started...... At least that's what I think happened.......... Well I did have one friend and she was just like me...... She was broken from the world's mistakes....... She had red eyes but I never got her name but I did write her a poem:
Your eye kill with thoughts of today, the red shows your insanity as you lead others astray.
As I always ask you about your day, as you always smile and ask me to go away.
You seem alone in the days you play, with the people who have always wanted to tell you to are theirs today.
Some days you snap from what was the day before hand, where you kill who ever did you wrong from woman to man.
I still go to see you as you started to smell like blood, as I didn't care as I thought "so what".
You always wanted me to go and you killed with sadness in your eyes, sometimes when I walk away from you I just wanna hide and cry.
One day time finally stud still just for you and I, I saw you kill someone with my very own eyes.
You never wanted to see you like this, but as you try to come back to your senses I walked up to you and gave you my first kiss.
I held you close and told you it's ok, as you dropped your knife and never looked back on that day.
You stay with me as time goes on fast, as long as I'm with you I don't mind how long our lives last......