Imperio ⇢ D.M

Chapter Thirty Four

Warning: Mentions of self harm

~

Concern

~Draco Malfoy~

I care about Arden, more than I care about anything else.

When I saw what Umbridge had done to her, I thought she'd be more cautious. Instead, she found herself siding with Potter every time he decided to open his fat mouth, which gave her a detention as well as him.

Every night after detention, her eyes would be puffy as she walked into the great hall. I'd take her back to the common room, and she'd lean on my shoulder and just cry.

I don't even know if she's talking back at Umbridge because of her opinions anymore, sometimes I think it's an excuse to feel pain.

It's stupid, and a terrible thing to do, but with the grief and denial that she's going through, I can understand why Arden longs for the pain in her hand.

It might not be so much that she wants it, but that it eases her. Maybe she'd rather feel the cuts in her skin than feel the pain of loss. Maybe it gives her a sense of relief. I can't know for sure.

All I know is that I can't stand this anymore. I can't bear listening to her sob every night, seeing her stare at me as she walks in the great hall with her blood stained robes and teary eyes. I don't know what to say to her in this situation. I know she just wants to let it all out, but I want her to feel better, and not have to hold in her feelings until she just cries on my shoulder.

She barely talks about her feelings anyway. All I know is that yes, she's upset about Cedric, and everything else I've just been guessing.

I do know that she's losing her mind. Over the past few weeks, I've watched her look around the halls as we go to class together. Sometimes I wonder if she's looking for Granger, but even she's pushing her away too.

I've realised that she's looking for Cedric. Arden hasn't accepted that he's truly gone yet.

She's become more bitter, feisty and easily annoyed. I can barely talk to her without her making a snarky comment.

I remember the other day in Potions, I tried to apologise about my lack of contact with her over summer. She simply just said 'You obviously didn't think about my feelings.'

She's inconsistent. Sometimes she's rude, sometimes she's depressed, sometimes she's her sweet self. I can't tell if this is apart of her going through grief, or it's a 'womanly' thing.

I hope that when the grey skies clear above her, and it's back to sunshine, that Arden can forgive me about barely talking to her over summer.

A lot happened over summer. My father was out a lot, and so was my mother. With nothing to do in a large mansion, I looked around, and found a mask that I may one day have to don and hide behind.

But I had shifted its position slightly, sure enough my father definitely noticed. He wasn't angry, he was afraid.

-

"Draco, did you snoop around my room by any chance?" My father asked. I simply shook my head.

"No, I didn't father..." I lied.

"I know you did, and I am not angry with you." He said. My father sat down at the head of the kitchen dining room table. He motioned me to take a seat on the other end, and I did as instructed.

"I know you got my letter last year, concerning this subject. I made it seem that it was your destiny." He began. My mother came through the arch, connecting the kitchen and the small dining area with a cup of tea for my father. She stood behind his chair, and gripped on to the end of it tightly.

"I was merely warning you, of what could happen." My father took a small sip from the glass cup. "Do you know, about the history of your surname, son?" He asked.

"A history of Pure-Blood supremacy." I said. "And one Death Eater. You."

My father nodded. "That letter, it is only to tell you what could happen. I cannot stress that enough."

"It won't happen, dear." My mother said sternly. Her face as white as ever. She looked almost as afraid as my father. They both looked at each other. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Narcissa, anything can ha-"

"He's just a boy!" My mother interrupted. Her long nails had dug into the black wood of my father's chair, leaving marks.

"Draco, listen closely." My father and I locked eye contact. His posture was as straight as ever, and I noticed his lips had started to tremble. "You must do, whatever he says."

My mother began sobbing. She left the room, unable to listen to this conversation anymore.

"I want you absolutely safe. Even if it means you are one of them."

-

It's just slightly hard to keep in contact with someone when you have that event replaying in your head over and over.

I'm honestly thankful that Arden interrupted me before telling her about that conversation. How can I tell her that? She'd hate me. She'd hate that I'd have to follow the man that killed her brother.

I have to try and get her to vent soon. These detentions with Umbridge are becoming too frequent, and they're starting to make me concerned about her mental health.

I do hope that I get the Arden Diggory I fell in love with back soon.

~

Aaah! Writing as Draco really is my favourite thing. I feel like I write better as him, and better things happen in his perspective.

Hope you had lovely holidays xoxo