Chapter 33

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Private Jae Lee grimaced wryly as he saw Max Lang duck his head and turn away from him, to walk down another corridor. God knew he should be used to Max avoiding him by now. He had tried to take a step back, treat him again as he would any other crew member but he feared he had left it too late. He had pushed too hard and now he had lost him entirely.

They had had exactly one date. One rather hot date as he remembered. They had had a few drinks at the All Stars, then gone to the Fizz Bar for some live music and some more drinks. They had stayed until the musicians were replaced by an electronic synthesiser, an instrument Jae despised but which was becoming very popular with the younger crowd.

They had stood rather hesitantly in the street outside, both uncertain as to the next move, until Max had taken the plunge. "I've still got the apartment Dad hired while I was recovering. Would you like to come back to my place for a drink?" He had smiled hopefully while he waited for Jae's response. "Or is it too late?" he added quickly, giving him an excuse to back away if he wanted.

"It's not too late," he had answered, smiling back. He remembered they had held hands as they walked to the apartment. Anticipation bubbled through him, he'd be staying for a lot more than a drink if he had any say in it.

Max had ushered him into the lounge and poured them both an Orion brandy, letting their fingers brush against each other as he handed him the glass.

"Here hold this for me would you? I've been dying to do this all evening." And Max had slipped both hands inside his shirt, running them lightly over his chest and stomach, stroking the smooth skin as he stood there, holding the two glasses. He had felt the hair rising on the back of his neck, his nipples hardening into small tight peaks under the delicate caress. Max had opened his shirt wider and bent his head to lick each dark brown nipple with the tip of his tongue. Jae had quivered, his hands gripping the two glasses as if they were a lifeline he was hanging onto, looking down at Max's dark blond hair. Then Max had kissed his way up his body, still with that delicate touch of lips and tongue tip until he reached his mouth. He seemed to know exactly what Jae liked, treating him as if he were something precious, something valuable, not just a quick lay.

And with that thought oddly enough, Jae had changed his mind. He decided he wouldn't seduce Max tonight, as he had planned. He would wait until they got to know each other more first. He wanted this courtship phase to continue, he wanted more than a brief fuck. He groaned and opened his mouth to receive Max's kiss. He would call a halt in just a minute, tell him they needed to slow down, there was no rush, they had all the time in the world to take things slowly. Max's tongue filled his mouth, one hand running through his hair while the other slipped around to his back and stroked the hollow of his spine, up and down. Just who was seducing who here? He felt as if his skin was on fire wherever Max touched him. He went to put his arms around Max before he realised he was still holding those damn brandy glasses. Tawny liquid splashed over both of them, drenching Max's back and shoulders. "Sorry!" Jae murmured in a thick voice. He tossed the empty glasses to one side and peeled the shirt off Max, desperate to begin licking the brandy off his skin.

He would stop soon, he would. Just one more lick ... He was on his knees in front of Max when his wristcom beeped shrilly, announcing an emergency.

It was Captain Martinez with the news that Robin Lang, Max's father, had just shot himself, committed suicide.

If only he had listened to himself earlier, and left after a few kisses, he wouldn't have been there when Max got the call and they might have still had a relationship to pursue.

Afterwards, he wondered if they might have still been together if it had been the other way around, Max on his knees in front of Jae. As it was, every time Max saw him he felt guilty. Guilty, that Jae had been pleasuring him while his father was dying. Guilty, that he had been distracted and hadn't realised how worried his father had been, how desperate, desperate enough to take his own life. They both knew it wasn't rational. It wasn't Jae's fault. Or Max's fault for that matter. But Max wasn't feeling very rational.

In hindsight, he should have stepped back then, allowed Max to come to terms with the news in his own way, to grieve alone if that was what he needed, but he had wanted to be there for him as a real lover would have been, to offer comfort and loving support. He had pushed too hard to be with him, and now Max couldn't bear to see him at all.

Lee wanted to stay on the Qatar so much. He had felt comfortable there, happy even, accepted for what he was but it wasn't working any more. It wasn't fair on either of them. He thought he could easily have given Max his love if he'd let him, but now the only thing he could do for him was leave. He went in search of Chief Medic Johansson, he couldn't put his transfer request off any longer.

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