My Best Friend's Mediocre Boyfriend

Sex

Addison

I was not in charge of my own destiny.

This was made abundantly clear to me when I received the vaguely threatening letter from the people.

The birds were chirping as they do, the sky was blue as it always was, and all was perfect in the world when the piece of mail had arrived. I was painting my nails a shade of beige when suddenly, goosebumps pricked my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

Something's not right.

I glanced out the window just in time to see the retreating back of a figure walking briskly down the sidewalk, their head bowed down. I could not make out their face, but this was nothing unusual. It was extremely rare when one caught a glimpse of one of the people.

The only clue that you were even dealing with one of the people was the perfectly circular shape of their heads. Always a circle. Never a rectangle or even so wild as a triangle. 

I thundered down the stairs and with bated breath, scooped up the envelope that had been left behind for me on the stoop.

"We know who you are," it read.

"You are a villain, a brazen hussy. How dare you try to steal a happily committed man from his highly insecure and slightly controlling girlfriend?"

I furrowed my brows as I stared at the letter in disbelief. Hot tears pricked the back of my eyelids.

"But I haven't even done anything," I whispered. 

But it didn't matter. Not when it came to the people. They believed what they wanted to. And at that moment, they thought me a man stealer.

I bit my nails in anticipation of what would happen next.  I had never heard of anyone receiving a written complaint from the people before, and it shook me to my core.

But unbeknownst to me when I went to bed that night, I would wake up to discover just how quickly things could change and what exactly the people were capable of.

***

My head was aching with a searing pain when I came to the next morning. It was a sensation that I had never experienced before, and it made my brain all fuzzy.

I struggled to pry my sandpaper lids open but when I did, I noted that I was surrounded by nothing except white so bright that it hurt my eyes. There was a low humming in the room and as I sat up, I realized that I wasn't in my bed anymore.

"Where am I?" I questioned out loud, scanning my surroundings.

And that's when I noticed her.

She was a young woman with long black hair that she styled into a ponytail, and she had on florescent pink shorts.

"Who are you?" I demanded to know, standing up and immediately regretting the action because of the pounding that jackhammered in my brain.

I clutched at my skull as she gave me a warm smile. "I'm Monica Brittany Fiona Ginny Barry-Faye," she replied. "But you can call me MBFGBF for short."

"I...I don't understand," I stuttered.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't you get it? You were brought here by the people. This is where they discard the humans who create too much scandal for their perfect world."