Constult: to act stupidly or foolish together.
"You know they say the line between love and hate is thin I think I realized that a while ago when I fell for you" she confessed.
"What a horrible way to admit your feelings, I guess I love you too" he...
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𓆩♡𓆪━━━━━━━━━━━━━━𓆩♡𓆪
"A Burnt child loves the fire that spreads"
═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ═══ Y/p Song: American daughter- beach house (Songs are optional) (Narrative chapter) ═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ═══
(The After )
When I was little, I used to have this bad stress habit: I would lock myself in a closet like I was Harry Potter with the lights off and all, and I'd cover my ears.
Then I'd sit in silence and imagine running water, an open tap pouring into a large ocean, swallowing me whole.
I don't know what it was about water that I loved, but it made me feel alive, like I could do the stupidest things and still feel like I was the smartest person in the room.
So for the first time since I was nine, I let my feet lead me to my closet, my heart pumping and beating fast like it ripped out of my chest. I turned off the lights and sat in the small space that could give anyone claustrophobia.
Yet I didn't cry; my heart felt heavy too heavy with pain. I didn't cry; I stayed silent and covered my ears, imagining the sound of water to bring me tranquility.
Drip.
I was too naive. I put my trust in someone I didn't know a thing about, and believe it or not, I was just starting to open up my heart once again, not to love but to friendship.
God, I was an idiot. How could I believe that we could be friends when we knew nothing about each other?
Drip
And the worst part is that when he looked at me with those eyes, I knew that I had refused to see so much and that we were more alike than I thought.
I had stretched my arms too far and tangled my limbs till I couldn't breathe, and now I feel so used because I extended myself so far without knowing the way back home.
I guess my subconscious was right to hate him for being so angry at him without a reason yet wanting to keep him close. I was looking in a mirror—no, a house full of mirrors—and I was the clown in the center, believing we were different in some way.
Vinny was someone who was in a constant mental struggle. He was always looking to take his mind off things, but the more he looked, the more he saw the same pain, the same old regrets.
And I was exactly the same.
It's like the world moves on without you but never ceases to care about the people who are in a constant state of sadness, those who don't have control over the little life that they barely live.
And I was an idiot.
I was an idiot for believing I was deserving of something more than just being alone.
I trusted my heart without realizing that it was too fragile to give a part of, and the worst part is that I can't ask for it back because it's my fault for giving it away.
Drip
I'm ridiculous.
It's ridiculous to sit here and even give him a thought. I should've had my cake and ate it all instead of splitting it in half .
My heart clenched with anguish, stabbing at the pieces holding it together and nicking the little soul I had found.
The solace that I had found was crushed in my palm within seconds; the once solid and priceless item was crushed into a thin powder to never be used again.
Drip
I let out a small hiccup clutching my chest as I scrunched my eyes shut, my chest burning with pain that made my body clamp shut.
Like fire raging in my chest, lunging me forward and back with each heartbeat, and I didn't have an extinguisher to blow it all out as it raged.
My body retched forward, urging my nails to clamp over my ears to drown out the sound of my struggling pain. Each movement I made was washing me away and weighing me down.
I was drowning. I was drowning and washing away in an ocean with no islands. Free sailing in the precept of my soul and floating away like a weightless draft.
There was no one to save me this time, no one to hold my hand and tell me it was okay, no one to make promises to, and no one to hoist me up while I feel deeper and deeper into the abyss.
And it hurt.
I could feel my breath leaving me and my mind withering away without a single trace of me in it, just because I took a chance on someone who brought a sense of peace.
He brought a sense of hope into a world filled with reality, and I couldn't even even regret what I brought upon myself. I shouldn't cry or be so melodramatic, but it hurt. It hurt that I put so much faith in someone who couldn't return it.
Drip
My mind plunged deeper into the water, paralyzing me into complete silence, forgetting about the quiet closet I was in and reeling me in like a siren pulling onto my feet, tugging on the strings of my vocal cords, and tangling my thoughts into pure oblivion.
I was stupid.
And no one could grab me from the cold water and bring me to shore anymore; no one could save me as I sink deeper than the mermaids cove. I was grappling to stay close to the little reality I had, drowning in my own regret.
No one could save me but myself, and so I drowned, water filling my lungs and choking me without doubt.
In the small, dark closet where I sat knees to my chest, hands over my ears, my fire threatened to wither away.
