I Will Hold Your Hand Gently

Chapter 6: My First Night Went Like This

I've always loved reading the scene where Zwei appeared to save the day. His blade was against the throat of the enemy like a whisper and sliced off their neck. The blood flows down from their body like water. Not once did he ever look down at the bodies piled beneath him while his eyes glowed. Covering his blade with his aura and using telekinesis to blow off any enemy that came into his blind spot. Ah, how I loved reading those scenes of his action. I loved them, I do. It would always send shivers down my spine and excite me because of how cool he is. That doesn't mean I want to be the one on the receiving end!

Zwei hand pins me against the bed. He glared at me with his yellow stone eyes as he held his blade in his right hand and placed it against my neck. His left hand was placed above my head.

"Who are you..."

Even his voice is sexy!

Ah, I need to steady my heart before it bursts out of my chest from excitement. I knew that I was going to see him one of these days, so I prepared myself when that day came. However! The power of a lead is just too much! Do I look like I'm freaking out? Because I am! I just have no idea what my expression is like at the moment! Please be a poker face! PLEASE!

"If this is your taste of starting our first night together, I don't find the blade against my neck charming."

Why in the world did that come out of my mouth!!! Charming?! Blade?! Man, am I panicking out of my mind!!!

Maybe because we're close to each other, I could see a dullness reflected in Zwei's eyes. From what I understood after reading the novel when Esper does not receive any guidance from a Guide and uses drugs instead, it turns the iris of the eye into a dull color.  A side effect from the drug and a symptom of accumulation of miasma inside of their body. I unconsciously reached out to touch his cheek with my right hand. Zwei instantly smacks my hand away.

"I see that the daughter of Marquies Spheral has no shame and little desire to live," said Zwei with threatening eyes.

My hand went numb from the force, and yet I didn't mind. I was more concerned about the dullness of his eyes than the well-being of my hand. Also, I couldn't help but be amazed by his features. His face, voice, eyes, and even his hair were just like how it was described in the book, but even better now that I could see him, physically. So much so, that I could hear my own heart beating faster.

"Judging by how fast your heart is beating, you must be scared out of your mind," his eyes sneered at me, "You should have left this place when you had the chance."

"You're hot..." my mouth suddenly blurted out.

...

Please don't look at me like that! I don't even know why I said that!

My emotions were exploding. I really couldn't hold it back, but saying those words with such a monotone tone how does one say it, unbelievable? A joke?

Zwei suddenly pulled away from me. I couldn't get a good look, but I think the dullness from his eyes had become less dull and more vibrant. I leaned up from the bed and felt my neck. There was a sharp pain from my touch. Looking at my hand, there was indeed blood. Zwei had every intention of ending my life just now. His gaze of suspicion and disinterest was now replaced by repulse and dislike. That look of his is seriously causing heartache here!

"The Spheral bloodline is filled with such abnormal freaks," said Zwei before he left the room.

Zwei fits his description in the novel so well. Cold-hearted, has a sharp tongue and is vicious to everyone he deems as an enemy. Experiencing it and physically seeing it is making my chest ache badly. Like I said earlier, scenes of him speaking so ruthlessly are awesome, but being the one on the receiving end doesn't feel so good. At! ALL!

Zwei closes the door behind him. Since I'm still a stranger, it's going to take a while before he warms up to me. It might even take forever because I'm from the Spheral Household. I lean back on the bed. I didn't mind Zwei looking at me with such hostile eyes and being cold, however, he looked tired. Even if I risked my life to guide him, I didn't even know how to do it in the first place. 

Tonight was also the first time Zwei came back since the wedding. I'm pretty sure the servants of this place saw him enter the room. The first night between the two of us didn't even go well. Knowing Five, she's still a virgin, and the servants are going to come in the morning. If there's no blood on the sheet, words will spread. Should word spread, those annoying nobles including the Spheral Household will use it as an insult to the king and blow it up out of proportion. 

I quickly got up from the bed and found a paring knife in the fruit bowl that was placed on the coffee table. This isn't the first time I cut myself, but I know it's going to hurt no matter what. Wait, I didn't cut myself before, Five was the one who did that. Right...? Oh well.

I pull up my sleeping wear and cut a clean cut on the back of my leg. As long as the wound is hidden under my dress no one would suspect anything, but this hurts. If they do, I can just say it was my time of the month. I kept my bleeding leg on the bed for a while so the blood could form on the bed cover. When it looked good enough, I wiped off the blood on the paring knife and put it away. Blood drizzles down from my leg. Seems like I cut my leg a little bit too deep. Touching my neck, I need to somehow clean up the wounds, so it doesn't end up as a scar. I wonder if there was a first aid kit somewhere around here.

I may have slept here in this room for the past few days, but I never really looked around. As soon as I finished most of my duty for the day, I would knock out on the bed and just wake up the next day. The maids were always the ones who found things around this room. I should pay more attention to the room. There's no telling if there's a spy sent here by any of the opposing noble family as soon as I found what I thought was the first aid kit, a smirk formed on my lips. Aren't I someone sent from those noble families?

Staring at the wound I made on the back of my leg, memories I had buried deep inside slowly start to surface. It looks like Five also had old scars on the back of her leg as well. I guess the both of us had a lot of things in common than I thought.

******

When I opened my eyes again, it was already morning. A knock came at the door. I quickly got up, covered the blood stain with the blanket, and cleared out my throat. I allowed the person in. It was Viola. She had a tray of soft food in her hand. At first, she looked happy until she saw the bandages on my neck. Her expression quickly turned brimful. I can guess what was running through her head.

"I've brought your food for you, Madam," said Viola with her head hanging low.

"Thank you."

As soon as she placed the tray down, she quickly kneeled in front of me. That gave me a shock.

"...!"

"Please forgive my impudent words but I beg of you madam, please forgive the Duke...!" She begged.

"Forgive the Duke?"

"I failed to inform him you were sleeping in the room late at night," said Viola with a shaking voice, "Due to my negligence, you almost got killed! It was my failure, so I beg you, please forgive the Duke!"

If I was any normal person I would be upset at Viola and demand an apology. To add on that, I would even go as far as to threaten them for hurting someone from the Spheral's house and report it to them. However, I read the novel and knew why he took such offense even if I was his wife in name. Zwei dislikes interacting with others and having physical contact with them due to his upbringing. Unless they were people he trusted, he would rather have a stake thrust into his chest than stay in the same room with a stranger. It's even worse if it's someone from the Spheral Household.

"It's alright, Viola," I said to reassure her, "I don't blame you or the Duke. I understand, so don't worry."

"Madam..."

And that was how my first night with Zwei went...