COLLIDE [PARK SUNGHOON]

21.

Sunghoon: /Flashback Last Friday/ 

"Sunghoon, we need to have a chat."

The way Ms Choi says this makes me nervous and my heart races. It's a stern tone and I am afraid of what she could scold me for. Frowning as Dahlia wants to walk away, I take hold of her wrist because I don't want her to leave my side.

"Can't she stay?"

Ms Choi throws me a deadly look and I understand that it is only for me to hear. As Dahlia gestures me to let go because the air could be cut at any moment, I hesitantly unwrap my fingers and let go of her wrist. I watch as Dahlia gives me one last encouraging smile before leaving the ice after bowing with utmost respect to my skating partner and coach. She's so pretty.

A tiny smile emerges on my face, but as soon as the dressing room door is shut and Dahlia has disappeared, my coach looks at me with her tough features. I can't really pinpoint what she wants from me because I don't know what her sudden appearance is needed for.

"This is a serious matter Sunghoon and I want you to understand and help me confirm that I have made the right decision." My frown deepens and then I look at the other person in the room; Areum who has a soft smile on her doll-like features, but something is off. Her cast is gone.

"We just got back from the hospital and as you can see, her cast is gone." I twist my head back to my coach and nod after seeing the now bare arm. Confusion still seeps into my system. 

"I thought the doctor said it would be gone by the end of January?" The moment she injured her wrist, we all rushed to the hospital and after examination, they told us the heartbreaking news that she wouldn't make it in time for our competition. I was devastated for her, she was torn apart and our coach was having a crisis. It was chaotic.

She agrees and I notice from her body language that she is quite stressed about this herself, as she is normally a calm and composed person. "They misjudged calculations and her wrist has healed faster than expected."

I smile slowly and Areum seems overly excited that her cast is off. "That's really great news, but with all due respect why do you sound stressed about it?" Ms Choi swallows thickly and looks back to see if Dahlia is not in the room with us, before looking at me again.

"The thing is, Sunghoon. Areum knows the choreography except for the ending you made up later, but she's a quick learner and I know she's a hard worker..." Her voice echoes through the building, but I can't quite grasp what she's saying.

I don't like where this is going at all.

"You still have two and a half weeks until the competition so" Ms Choi looks at a beaming Areum. 

"I will be your skating partner again, Hoonie!" she moves in for a hug, but I am slightly numb. She's what now?

My former self would have jumped at this decision, he would have smiled and hugged her back, but after all the time I have spent with Dahlia, I find no joy in this revelation. As I pat her on the back, they see my sagging face and Ms Choi frowns.

"Aren't you happy?" She crosses her arms and I feel intimidated by the way her hard eyes pierce through me. She can't fathom why I could possibly not be excited.

Areum slowly recedes, feeling the uncomfortable tension, to look at my face and her pink, plump lips form a pout.

"I-uh I am, but what about Dahlia? We've been training for so long that I can't just ditch her like that?"

Guilt seeps into my system just thinking about her. She gave up everything for me, in the beginning she might have been here because of a deal, but later we bonded, I got her into trouble several times because we skated together. She has sacrificed so much for me. I can't just drop her. I owe that to her. She is a hardworking person and was always there for me, knew how important figure skating was for me, she never missed a training session for me.

She was the replacement that saved our problem. We should be grateful to her and not stab her in the back like that. It's not fair.

"I'm sorry, but we've been working on this for so long, I can't just make her stop."

"What are you implying by that, Sunghoon? You let a girl with hardly any experience skate instead of a professional skater who ironically is actually your partner?" Areum scoffs and I could swear the look on my coaches' face is pure horror at what I am trying to let them know. Why are they speaking so low about my girl? She has a lot of experience and is a professional, I don't understand why they keep bringing this up.

"Sunghoon. We want to win. Both of you here are professionals. That girl over there cannot guarantee you a spot in the finals. It's Areum who is and will be your partner. It was supposed to be this way all along."

This decision feels wrong. Of course Areum knows the choreography, but she has been out for so long. Dahlia and I trained for a long time and now I should do the same with Areum in two and a half weeks?

"But-"

"I don't want to hear any protests. I want you to talk to Dahlia and explain the situation, all right? She must understand."

She's sure of the decision she has made and my face contracts. Figure skating is a tough sport, but no, I can't tell her. She'll be devastated. She has put so much hard work into this. I can't just shatter her heart. Yet I nod slowly as I swallow away the guilt. I have no choice.

Blinking away frustration, I seem to drown in guilt and stare at the wall behind them. They have departed and I don't know how I'll break the ice. After just standing here for five minutes, I walk to the changing rooms.

I knock softly on the door then close it while pressing my back against the white-painted wood. 

I can't tell her, we are so close to the competition, everyone has been so excited about it, I can't tell her now. But on the other hand, she wanted to quit herself at some point, maybe the shock would be less - but no, she didn't want to quit for herself, Ye-Jun was an obstacle and despite following the words of someone she trusted much longer, she fought him to keep skating with me.

Sighing deeply, I avoid talking about how I am doing.

"I appreciate your concern, but it's not me you should be worried about" I feel stupid when I say this. But God, how am I going to tell her, how? 

She picked up on my cold and unresponsive behaviour and then quickly dropped the matter to stop bothering me. But oh I wish she'd stayed here with me, hugged me, I wish we could skate together. What have I done? In the blink of an eye, she's gone and here I am in the puddle of my unforgiving thoughts laced with guilt.

I don't want her to hate me for it while she likes me now, I need her to hate me now so the message will be less painful because she will expect such a response, so she will feel less hurt, right? I may need her to hate me now, but that's only so she feels less pain, right?

I'm sorry.

A/N:

Oops guess the tea spilled.

Thanks again for reading my story. Your support is heartwarming <3 Don't forget to vote or comment! I love you all.

Good day/night xx

-C