our esctastic devotion

chapter 2

Stephanie -28
Sebastian -30

                      Stephanie

Back from the party, drunk and being totally wasted i bent to push the strap of my slingback underneath my heels. Throwing my dress into the laundry basket i land my body on the bed feeling my eyelids getting heavier.

Sleep engulfes me every night but I don't derive my lost energy through it . It's just a dead moment for my mind to forget all the shit that u go throughout the day. Not even washing off the makeup from my skin i doze into my wonderland where Im no longer a failure in love . Where I hold the man I want . Where I derive the ecstasy my body wants to possess. To have and to hold his soul in my blood , my presence, my reflection, my shadow.

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     " Damn yes ..... I know I'm late there's just too much traffic. I'm sorry for the delay Mrs Kennedy. " Hanging up I look at my reflection in my compact mirror. Tired and hangover from the sins I took into my system from each sip last night. I paste on some lipsticks on my kissers to not look are terrible as before. Frowning at the traffic I wonder if I will even make it in time.

        My eyes move around to look for any alleys that can lead my to my office . My thoughts of ditching my uber driver are just at its peak when I see through the glass door of a restaurant. Italian furnishings, dark captivating mahogany tiles, the ambience just perfect for a date with a man . My eyes wander taking in the michelin star restaurant as my cab moves further and stops again. When my eyes catch hold of a man , tall , dusky caramel skin, beautiful eyes , a cold look yet so fucking handsome. The silk shirt he wore giving justice to his extremely hot muscles as I look up to his face.

       My heart sinks. It's HIM. It's him with a woman sitting diagonally across his chair long open black hair , sipping on her coffee smiling at him with the most perfect teeth I've ever seen . Is she his.....? NO this can't be. I look at him once again . His eyes resting on his coffee and a cold look on his face saying absolutely nothing before lifting his face and smiling at her.

    Sebastian, I see you after 8 fucking long years just to see you with a woman? Tears flow down my cheeks my heart racing as I wanna see him to my heart's content after so long but I'm a coward. I can't see him with someone else. Sitting and having coffee with her like she's the goddess he aches for. I don't hate him for being with an another woman or being happy.

   I hate the fact that the guy I've loved to the moon and back could never be mine.

     The card start to move as I instruct the driver to take me back home. Tears not leaving my eyes for a split second and my fingers shivering with what I just witnessed.

    Im sorry I won't be able to make it
                                         - Stephanie

I texted Mrs Kennedy wiping my tears every second. He looked like a dream, my man. He was all I ever asked for and when God refused to let me have him I turned my back on God. But every inch of his face and body reminding me of the days and nights I've spend with him.

    I walk into my apartment throwing the keys around somewhere I drop my body on the couch and cry my heart out . My heart feels heavy, my soul feels lost , my body feels doom and my love feels incomplete. I've spend 8 years of my life loving this man to the ends of my life but still I'm deprived from even the ends of his hair.