The Meaning of Family

Being a Big Girl

The next day, Ava woke up just fine, like nothing had happened the day before. That was what it was like to have a child with mental health struggles and trauma. Some days were off and hard, and others were amazing.

Ava was excited in the morning, she ate her breakfast happily and danced around while music played in the house as Jay got ready to leave for work and Hailey did a work out. Then, she went upstairs with Hailey to get dressed, in only a shirt and a pair of underwear. Hailey didn't want to have to do more laundry than necessary if she could avoid it. Ava had done pretty good the day before, so she was hopeful the process wouldn't be too hard, especially because the toddler was technically potty trained.

"Okay, Ava girl, the goal is to not have any accidents today, but if you do, you will not be in trouble, and no one will hit you. I promise. You don't have to hide anything from me," Hailey explained, making sure Ava understood every word she said. She'd already made sure Ava remembered where all her stools were and the seats for the toilet that would make sure she didn't fall in. Ava nodded and went to get candy land out.

"We pay?" She asked adorably. Hailey laughed and nodded. "Yeah, we play, babes."

And play they did, for an hour, until Ava got up and ran off, whining the whole way. Hailey followed her and was pleased that Ava made it to the bathroom. "Good job, Aves! We can do whatever you want to do next, kiddo!" Hailey praised her and Ava merely looked up at her and smiled.

"I did it! But I almost didn't," Ava gave her sister a very pointed look, head tilted to the side, hand on her hip, one eyebrow up, just like Hailey would do.

"That's okay, kid. You did do it, that's what matters. After you wash your hands, what should we do?"

"Paint?" Ava asked, hopeful. Hailey nodded and helped get Ava's brace off so she could wash her hands then decided to leave it off for a little bit.

"Let's go paint," Hailey went and covered the kitchen counter while Ava got her paint set out. They spent some time painting and laughing at silly things Ava would say. It was an enjoyable time, and both paintings were put on the fridge once they dried.

Ava went to get something from her room while Hailey was getting stuff out for lunch. Hailey popped the chicken nuggets in the oven and closed it just as she heard Ava start crying hysterically. Hailey bolted upstairs and found Ava, hiding by her bed, crying. Nearby there was a wet patch on the floor and Hailey frowned.

"Aves, it's okay, c'mere, baby. I'm not mad, I promise. You are not in trouble. Can you come to me?" Hailey sat down on the floor and waited for Ava to make the first move.

Ava whimpered and sobbed, rapidly sucking her thumb. She was scared; she used to get hurt for having accidents, and Hailey said she wouldn't get hurt if she had one, she was still very afraid. But Hailey didn't look mad. And she hadn't hurt her before...

The 4 year old took a breath and moved over towards her sister, crying. Hailey slowly opened her arms for a hug and Ava hesitated before she fell into her sister's arms.

"I sowwy! I sowwy! I didn't mean to!" She wailed, coughing from the force of her cries.

"Shhhh, baby girl. Breathe with me. You're safe, it was just an accident. No worries about that, sweet girl. Breathe with me," Hailey spoke gently and Ava eventually copied her and started to settle, although the tears didn't stop.

Hailey got up with her and grabbed some clean clothes for the toddler then went downstairs to turn the temperature of the oven way down and extended the timer. She then took Ava upstairs to she and Jay's shower and got them both out of their dirty clothes and into the shower to get clean.

Ava remained in her sister's arms for a majority of the shower, enjoying the close contact with her and that she hadn't been hurt for having an accident. Once they were both clean, they got dry and dressed and went to eat lunch once Hailey cleaned the mess in Ava's room.

"I'm twyin to be a big giwl," Ava said sadly while she and Hailey ate.

"You are a big girl! Even if you have an accident every day, you are a big girl, Ava Grace," Hailey reassured her.

"But i stiww needa sweep in something," Ava pouted. Hailey sighed. Even at 4 Ava struggled with the idea of being in protection at night.

"That's okay. Wanna know a secret?" Ava nodded eagerly. She liked secrets with Hailey. "I had to sleep in a pull up until I was almost 10, and that didn't mean I wasn't a big girl."

"So I'm a big giwl too?" Ava wanted to know if her big sister meant business.

"Yup, you're a big girl too."

They finished lunch and Ava went down for her nap, and Hailey tidied up then got on the couch with a book for the whole two hours Ava slept. The afternoon was similar to the morning, only Ava didn't have anymore accidents. In fact, the little girl didn't have another accident until the end of the weekend, but that one was because she was laughing so hard that she wet herself. Of course that resulted in a meltdown, but before that it was a funny moment. And Ava really felt like a big girl. Hailey and Jay were just glad she wasn't needing to be changed multiple times a day.