The Meaning of Family

Emotions

Hailey and Jay were exhausted. Even though Ava was 4, she was up at least 3 times a night from nightmares, so they felt like they had a newborn. It had only been 4 nights and they hated how scared she'd get. Ava had no idea they had a monitor in her room, and she tried to stay quiet, but it was hard and they always heard her crying.

"She starts therapy tomorrow," Hailey sighed as she walked around with her now sleeping sister in her arms.

"That should help with her night terrors. Heaven knows it's helped both of us for the most part. She'll be okay, and she's going longer between terrors each night," Jay motioned Hailey back to bed and she maneuvered Ava into the middle then got in and kissed Jay.

"I just hate that she's experiencing them so bad at such a young age. She's so tired during the day and I can tell she hates night time. Maybe we should get a sound machine? See if it helps?"

"I'll go get one tomorrow." Jay turned the lamp off and they went back to sleep for a few more hours.

They were all awake by 8:00 in the morning, eating breakfast on the back patio since it was nice out. Ava loved being outside, but they couldn't take her to the park or anything yet because of her ribs. She wouldn't be able to do anything. They did set up a hammock and sat with her on it as it rocked, which she enjoyed.

"When da cast come off?" She asked when they went inside, glaring at the pink on her arm.

"Not for a few more weeks, kiddo, I'm sorry," Hailey answered, setting her on the floor so she could go play.

"I don't wike itttt," Ava whined, pressing her face into Hailey's leg. Whining was new; she hadn't done it with them before.

"I know you don't, Aves, but if we take it off early, your owie won't get better and it will hurt even more," Jay got down to her height and watched her nod as her lip trembled. She looked exactly like Hailey when she cried.

"C'mere," he opened his arms and Ava went to him, burrowing in his chest as she sobbed.

"Wanna pay! I have toys now, wotsa toys, i wanna pay and wun!" There it was. Ava was sick of being confined and it had only been 8 days since she'd been left at the hospital. She couldn't do much until her ribs were healed and they were a good 2-3 weeks (or more) from that, and 3 weeks from removing the cast and her sling. Then she'd have some physical therapy.

"Shhhh, Ava, I know, I can't wait for you to be able to run and play like you want. I'm sorry you can't yet. You're doing so good, and we'll keep trying to make it fun," Hailey was now rubbing her sister's back, hating she was upset.

Ava was mad and upset, so she didn't respond. She just cried. She didn't understand why her father had hurt her so bad, or why her mommy had left her, and now that she was able to play as much as she wanted, she couldn't play how she wanted to because of being hurt. She didn't like it. And she didn't know how to tell them that, which led to almost an hour of crying as she was passed between Hailey and Jay, both trying to soothe her.

"Ava, what's going on? What are you thinking?" Hailey asked as the cries started to slow.

"A wot! Huwts, dunno why huwt, dunno why hewe, wanna pay!" Hailey looked at Jay as they tried to understand what she was telling them.

"Breathe for me, baby girl," Hailey took deliberately slow breaths so Ava would copy her while she was contemplating what was said.

"Ave, do you not know what hurts, or why it hurts?" Jay asked, hoping he was on the right track.

"W-w-why!" She sobbed.

"Wait, do you mean why you got hurt?" She nodded. "Oh, honey. I don't know either. I wish I did. Our father, he didn't always used to be like this, and I wish you didn't know his mean side. He wasn't nice to you, or me, or anyone in our family all the time. But you did nothing wrong, Ava Grace. It was not your fault, you're such a good girl and he never should've hurt you. You're here to be safe now because our mom doesn't know how to leave him. I know I'm not mom, but I love you so much and Jay and I will always love you and care for you. It might make more sense when you're older. You're doing so good, Aves. I promise it won't always be so hard," Hailey's heart broke even more as she talked to the small girl in her arms, but some of it seemed to soothe Ava, because she relaxed a lot and yawned, thumb going to her mouth.

"Not cause of me?" She mumbled.

"No, Ava, not because of you. You didn't do anything wrong," Jay reassured her, kissing her cheek before he kissed Hailey. They ended up hugging each other for several minutes as Ava started to doze off, exhausted from her meltdown.

"Hold on, Ave, let's change you before you sleep," Hailey said, getting a whine in response as she went to the couch and got a clean pull up. Once Ava was set, she took her upstairs and settled her into her bed, smiling when her eyes fluttered closed.

Jay watched, smiling at how amazing his wife was with her sister, no matter how heartbreaking the situation was. When Hailey came out of Ava's room, he hugged her and led her downstairs before her own tears started.

"She's 4, she shouldn't have to wonder why she was hurt or left or anything like that! I wish I'd known about her sooner, I would've been able to do something to get her out!" She sobbed, making Jay cry as well.

"But you didn't, Hail. You had no idea she existed, so this is not on you. What matters is that she's safe now. That is the most important thing in the world. We'll help her through this, and therapy will help as well. Maybe for us, too. I also ordered some books about how to help her mentally. We can do this, and she will be okay. She's strong, just like her sister," Jay felt Hailey nod and they stayed in each other's arms until both of their tears stopped.

They were cleaning when Ava came downstairs, holding her bunny. Her sundress was all rumpled and her blonde waves were all over the place. It was the first time she came out of her room on her own.

"Hi, Ava, did you sleep good?" Jay asked, getting a nod.

"I needa potty," she whispered, fidgeting. Hailey put down to mop and took Ava to the bathroom. She was shocked that the pull up was still dry; Ava always woke up wet because she normally had a nightmare/terror.

"Did you have any bad dreams?" Ava shook her head.

"That's good! I'm so glad!" Hailey smiled, holding her good hand. She stayed with Ava until she finished going to the bathroom and had to wipe her clean, then helped her wash her good hand (and her own hands) before they went to find Jay.

"She didn't have a nightmare," Hailey whispered and he congratulated Ava, who was confused but went with it as she ate a few goldfish.

They finished cleaning downstairs while Ava had her snack, then they decided to teach her how to play candy land. Ave LOVED it and they found themselves playing the game for close to 2 hours straight before they got hungry for a late lunch.

After such a hard night and morning, they had a really good afternoon playing with Ava, and they took the stroller out for the first time and went for a run once it got close to dark. Ava ended up in tears by the end of it because it started to hurt her ribs, but she enjoyed it otherwise. She liked being outside a lot. So they made a mental note to only do walks with her for now and do their runs separately.

Ava was still crying when they got home so Jay got her some Tylenol while Hailey got her bath ready. After she was bathed, she was settled on Hailey's chest with ice packs.

"I'm sorry it started to hurt, baby. We won't do that again until your ribs are better, we'll just do walks until then," she soothed, feeling Ava nod.

Eventually, she fell asleep on her sister so Jay put the ice packs away and took her upstairs to her bed. They both hoped she'd sleep better since she was so tired, but weren't holding their breaths on it until she started to move past the abuse.