POV: I'm indecisive

BOOK X

ISOBEL KIM

Sometimes I don't feel real. It's like I'm in a dream, everything around me becomes still and silent. But when I come back into my body everything is as it was, nothing has stopped or waited for me. It simply carried on without a care in the world. And I watch the world around me like a movie thinking, would it really make a difference if I wasn't here? If one day the Earth just swallowed me whole and the rest of my life was filled with darkness. A different type of darkness than the one which currently consumes my life. It would be a comforting darkness, one that says 'you're finally at peace'.

Again I come back into focus when my bedroom curtain is aggressively pulled open. I pull the earphones out of my ears, watching the wires fall into my lap before looking up towards the light shining through the large gap in the curtain.

'You don't have my leg warmers, do you?' Deanna walks into my area, 'the pink ones I bought last week'.

She doesn't wait for my reply before kneeling down and going through the pile of folded up clean washing in the corner.

'Check the bottom draw but I don't think so, unless the got mixed up when I was doing my washing' I reply anyway.

I've known Deanna Pascal for a while, we've danced together for years and become quite close. She's a sweet girl once you get to know her but she holds onto grudges like mothers hold onto their babies. If she doesn't like you then you'll know about it, Deanna is the most forward person you'll ever meet.

'They're not here' she sighs and stands up.

'I'll help you look' I offer, shuffling to the end of my bed.

I stand up and walk towards the half-open curtain, as I walk out my area I also pull it closed hiding my shit hole of a bedroom. I follow Deanna towards her area, stepping over Holly who is sitting in her middle splits whilst also banging a heavy romance book onto her point shoes.

I think Holly Anderson is one of the most admirable people I've ever met. Nobody can gain her amount of dedication, it's something that comes naturally to her. She's first in the studio every morning and always last to leave every evening. Holly has never said a bad word about anyone, she doesn't believe in violence or confrontation which is her only flaw. She always backs down in order to keep the peace.

'If they're anywhere, they'll be in Natalia's area' Holly laughs, looking back at us.

'That's what I was thinking' Deanna nods, making her way towards the window.

Deanna knocks on the glass trying to get Natalia's attention. She's stood on the other side of the window on the extended ledge, which I meant to prevent people from jumping. Natalia turns around and looks down at us with a confused expression.

Deanna reaches up to the window and cracks it open, 'have you got my leg warmers?'.

'Oh, the pink ones?' Natalia's heavy accent peaks through her English, 'hold on'.

Natalia places the cigarette in her hand in between her lips before pulling her coat off revealing Deanna's leg warmers around her arms. She quickly pulls them off and throws them through the crack in the window.

'Sorry I was cold' she shrugs and removes the cigarette from her lips.

'You should've told me, I would've rented them to you for an hour' Deanna flashes a smile.

Natalia stands up onto her tiptoes and blows the smoke in her mouth through the window into Deanna's face.

The three of us have known Natalia De Luca for two years now. She was brought here from Spain knowing two words, 'smoke' and 'goodbye'. Natalia has the natural talent that many dancers train their whole lives for but everyone knows she'd throw her career away in a second. To her fight or flight is fight or die, there's no thinking her decisions through. The only thing she thinks through is where to hit someone and cause the most damage.

Natalia throws her cigarette before reaching up to pull herself through the window, as she's half way through Holly quickly finishes breaking her shoes and runs towards her.

'Don't come in yet, can you stretch my leg out?' Holly requests.

'Sure' Natalia shrugs.

Holly tilts to the side as she kicks her left leg up into Natalia's hands before slowly rising her upper body back into a straight line. She winces in pain as she get closer to her leg.

'Are you ok?' I ask, grimacing at the sounds.

'Yeah I just must've pulled something yesterday' Holly shrugs off and swaps legs.

'Can I come in now? It's too cold out here' Natalia shivers.

Holly reaches up and grabs hold of Natalia's hands which she uses to pull her through the window onto the window seat below.

'Before I forget' Natalia starts, 'Antonio wants some dancers at his promotion night'.

'Is Antonio this mystery guy you won't tell us anything about?' I ask, leaning against the wall.

Natalia nods, 'his new club estrella is opening tonight and he wants it packed out by 10'.

'Are you talking about Antonio Garcia?' Deanna drops everything and turns around.

'Do you know him?' Natalia asks.

'Everyone knows him' Holly laughs, 'he's a hot billionaire'.

'So you'll come..?' Natalia trails off.

'Of course' Deanna squeals, 'imagine how many billionaire friends Mr Garcia has'.

'Guys I don't know, we have an early class tomorrow' Holly worries.

'Live a little Holly' Deanna rolls her eyes, 'when do we ever get the chance to leave this place? A bit of fresh air is nice every once in a while'.

'I'll think about it' Holly grabs her duffel bag and hangs it around her shoulder, 'I'm going to class'.