A Thousand Times Enough

⋆ Chapter 15 ⋆

XV. • °

I was woken up by the smell of breakfast tickling my nose. I slowly opened my eyes blinking a few times before rubbing them. I stretched across the bed and I realized that I was still at Nadia's house in her bedroom.

I slowly sat up letting out a big yawn before going to the bathroom to wash my face. I turned the faucet on cold and rinsed my eyes from all the dried-up tears I had cried last night before going to sleep. Just then memories from yesterday came flooding back to me.

Mark, my dad. I couldn't help but wonder if my dad was okay if he was upset with me after what I had said to him. I thought about calling him, I even thought about going back to my apartment even if Mark was there.

I felt guilty, more than hurt. Even though I was the one being lied to for the longest and treated like a child who wouldn't be able to stomach the truth. After all of this, after everything I've done to help him, to help us. 

Working so much and worrying myself to death making sure he would be alright after my mom's death when I wasn't alright, I was in pain. I was suffering, but he didn't know because he was so far gone from reality from me. 

Through it all, I thought me and my dad were on the same team. I thought he and I had an understanding that the most important thing to keep was each other, our bond, and our respect for one another.

But he broke that.

Instead, he wanted to keep me out of everything and let Mark in, instead, he wanted Mark to stay at our apartment and mess up the place we call our home. The dad I knew, the father that I knew was not like that. He would not stand for that, he would've protected me and he would've kicked Mark out the door.

Why didn't he protect me?

Why didn't he do anything?

That's when I knew that...he was no longer my dad anymore.

I had no right to feel guilty, I had every right to be upset, every right to not go back there. I was done.  I took a shower and grabbed the clothes Nadia had sitting out for me before heading downstairs.

"Jose," Nadia said walking up to me. "Hey, I have to talk to you," She gestured me over to a room behind her staircase.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"So..." She paused with her eyes wandering. "About you and Tessa-"

"Oh, no I'm not really ready to have that conversation."

"I know but listen, now is a perfect time for you to talk to her."

"She made it clear that she doesn't want to-"

"No..." Nadia dragged. "Tess doesn't mean half the shit she even says, do you really take her seriously all the time?"

"Yes, she seemed really pissed at me."

"Okay please, I really hate this." she frowned.

I sighed, "What do I even say?"

"Just have a conversation okay...she's in the kitchen go." Before I could say anything she started pushing me to the kitchen doorway. Tessa stood at the kitchen counter making her plate. I slowly walked in standing by the refrigerator.

Tessa turned around startled when she saw me, "God. Josie what the hell!"

"Sorry, I... didn't want to distract you from...making your plate."

She sighed, "Yeah well, a hello Tessa would've been a lot better."

I nodded slowly smiling awkwardly.