Rewrite the Stars (bxb)

Chapter 43 Rest in Power

For Technoblade

1999-2022

RIP

It doesn't really hit me until I begin to recognize the streets, and a sudden homesickness comes over me. It feels like I've been gone for years when, in reality, it's only been a few months. And then it hits me that we're ten minutes away from the house, and I fucking miss my room. It's weird, but whenever I thought about coming back, it was always my room I pictured in my head. Not anything else—not anyone else—just my room. My room has protected me for years. It's the only place nowadays where I feel safe—truly safe.

But then I think about my room back there, and maybe that's not so true anymore.

Then it hits me again that I'm never going back.

I breathe through the ache.

Mom stops the car inside the garage and gets out.

I get out and start unloading the car. The house is exactly how I remember it. I close my eyes and just smell the house. It's weird, but I love the smell of this house. Not the people or cleaning products that I also smell—the house itself. It instantly reminds me of the day when we looked at this house to buy. It was empty then, but the smell was so much stronger than now.

I put the bags next to the kitchen island and unload the rest of the bags. It's late, but if I unload the car tonight, I don't have to do it in the morning. I grab the one bag I need tonight and head down the hallway to the stairs. I see mom's bedroom light on, but I don't go into her room. I don't think I could pretend anymore tonight. All I want to do is lay in my bed and go to sleep.

I walk up the stairs with slow steps. I don't want to make any noise. The door to my room is open, but I expected that. What I didn't expect was the collapsed bed frame, the empty walls, the empty desk, and the new carpet.

I drop my bag to the floor.

I hurry over to Cody's room, knowing it's late, but not really caring. Hopefully, he's still up anyway. He likes to draw.

I tap gently on his door.

"Come in."

I crack the door open slowly, my heart going a mile a minute. "Cody."

He throws his head up and grins. "Hey, Blythe."

I step into his room. It's different from the last time I was in here. He got a new desk and some new bedding. He added fairy lights across the top of his window seat. I walk over to his desk and see the unfinished portrait he's working on. "Wow," I say. "That's really good."

He glances at it. "Yeah. I've been practicing. My art teacher says I can go into AP art next year."

"Really? Wow. That's impressive." I feel like crying. "Um, what happened to my room?"

He glances at me and puts his coloured pencil down. "Mom got new carpet upstairs, so we had to move all the furniture downstairs."

I nod.

"And since we were getting new carpet, she decided to deep clean the upstairs. It took a couple days. I helped. She brought over professional cleaners for your room though. She didn't want to go in it until they had cleaned it."

I had forgotten why mom sent me to Orion's in the first place, but Cody's making it very clear that mom didn't forget.

"But they can't clean paper," he finishes, hesitant.

"Cody," I say, knowing he stalls when he doesn't want to tell me something.

"She threw all your stuff away," he says in a rush. "She sold as much as she could and trashed the rest." He gestured to a corner of his room where a pile of stuff lay. I noticed a pillow I've had since before I can remember. "I saved as much as I could."