Rewrite the Stars (bxb)

Chapter 19 Left Alone

I wake up this morning hating life. The events of yesterday left me feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and wanting to be by myself forever.

Thankfully, Peter isn't here when I wake up, so I spend the morning reading. I don't want to talk to anyone, and I don't want to be in this world anymore.

I miss breakfast, but I'm not even hungry, so I'm okay.

I do feel a little guilty about not telling the others anything about me today, but I just ignore that feeling. Instead, I focus on my book.

I don't really want to be here anymore.

I don't like people.

And yesterday was... scary.

There were so many people. It all happened so fast. One minute everything was fine. Then hundreds of people.

Probably not that much, but that's what it felt like.

And all the flashes from the cameras. I already don't like my picture being taken.

This is worse.

I don't do well in crowds.

I'm glad I wasn't alone though. I don't think I would've made it out if Dev hadn't pulled me to my feet and out the door.

Is that what Sam's sister deals with on a daily basis?

That's terrible.

I shake my head. I don't want to think about that. I want to focus on what I'm reading.

Two seconds later, there's a knock on the door.

"Blythe? You in there? Can I come in?"

I can feel some unease settle on my chest, but I push it down and say, "Yeah."

Jax pokes his head through the door and sees me still laying in bed in my pjs. "You didn't come down for breakfast? Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

He steps fully into the room and shuts the door behind him. "I heard about what happened from Sam. He said you didn't take it very well. I wanted to check up on you. Make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine," I say, sitting up in bed. "I'm not some weakass person who can't deal with shit. I'm over it. No need to worry about me."

His eyebrows come together in a concerned look. "You don't look or sound okay. If you wanna talk—"

"What I want right now is for you to leave me the fuck alone."

My words hang in the air.

Then the concerned look drops from his face, replaced by a mixture of indifference and anger. "Fine," he spits out. "I'm leaving. Sorry for being concerned about your well being. I won't make that mistake again." He slams the door behind him.

I flop back down on the bed, throwing the comforter over my head.

I mentally scream.

What did I just say to him?

Why did I say that?

Oh my god, I'm so dead.

My heart races in my chest, and my legs feel like jelly.

They're gonna kick me out of this place for sure this time. If I was back with mom, I would've already been kicked out. I'm actually surprised they're not storming into my room right now to kick me out.

Wait. I don't care. Why would I? I'm the odd one out. I don't fit here. I'm going to leave soon anyway. They're gonna get tired of me eventually. Then they'll kick me out anyway. They're just going to do it sooner. Which is good because I'd rather just get it over with.