Love You Forever (2013 Wattys Finalist)

Chapter 21 - Regrets and Apologies

Robert ran home, anxious to get his mobile so he could ring Georgie and apologize to her. When he walked in the house, he was dismayed to see his mum and dad sitting on the couch, both of them looking deeply worried. It was clear they’d been waiting for him.

“Robbie, are you alright?” his mum asked with concern, getting up right away and going to him.

“I’m fine, mum,” he said, giving her a hug and kiss as the guilt burned through him again for worrying her.

“We thought we heard you shouting,” his dad said. “You sounded angry.”

“No, it was nothing,” he said quickly, thinking fast. “I, uh, was watching a football match – on my laptop, y’know. They made an error – a really stupid mistake. And then, I, uh, decided to go out for a bit – for a run. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye before I left. I guess I forgot – still thinking about that error.”

“Oh, well, that’s good. I mean, did you have a nice run?” his mum said, appearing relieved.

“Yeah, it was alright,” he said, and looked at his dad. He looked like he wasn’t sure he believed Robert, probably because he was dressed in his work clothes instead of his running clothes.

“Well, I’ll head upstairs now,” he said quickly, anxious to make an escape in case his dad decided to question him further.

When he was in his room, he rifled through his closet and located his mobile. He sat on his bed and pulled up Georgie’s number. He was about to push the button to ring her when he hesitated. What was he going to say to her exactly? What if he heard her voice and crumbled, unable to apologize to her properly or even lost his temper with her again? He didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to do this over the phone.

He’d write to her instead, he decided suddenly. It would be much better that way. Then he’d be sure to do it properly. He picked up his laptop and opened his e-mail account. He started a new e-mail and began, typing, ‘Dear Georgie’.

No, that was stupid. Just because she started her e-mails like that didn’t mean he should. He changed it to ‘Georgie’.

As he looked at it, that didn’t seem right either. It was too cold, too distant. He changed it back to ‘Dear Georgie’.

No, that was too familiar. It sent the wrong message. He changed it back to ‘Georgie’. Then he slumped, sighing deeply. This was much harder than he’d thought it would be.

He stared at the blank space below it and sighed again. Now what?

He spent the next hour writing and rewriting until he’d come up with something he felt adequately apologized to her. It was short, but he was satisfied he’d said what he needed to say.

Georgie,

I want to apologize for the things I said to you this morning. It was wrong of me and I deeply regret it. I know I hurt you and I shouldn’t have. I should have found a different way to say the things I said. You didn’t deserve for me to talk to you that way.

I’m very sorry,

Robert

He hit send and closed his laptop. He set it on the floor and laid back on his bed, putting the crook of his arm over his eyes as a heavy bleakness descended over him. He was desperately trying to fight off what was threatening to overwhelm him when his mobile started vibrating.

Shit.

Was she calling now that she’d read his e-mail? He didn’t want to talk to her. He couldn’t. That’s why he sent that fucking e-mail. He looked at the display and breathed a sigh of relief before he answered it.