Campus

Chapter 31 - On The Roof

James POV:

I'm on the second floor of the flat, the flat that Reece doesn't even live in, but there is no roof in his apartment in the city for him to climb onto. I climb onto the railing of my balcony and haul myself up to join him. When he sees me he looks happy, and sad.

"Little bro! Did you hear? our mumsy, she cared more about filling her veins with drugs than us and now she got herself killed, hah, did you know?"

Fuck, he is hurting bad.

I grab his shoulder and sit down next to him, grabbing the Jack Daniels out of his hand and taking a long swig before dropping it down onto the drive way, the loud smashing sound echoing and Reece gives me a disapproving look.

"Why did you do that for?"

Reece has always held his drink well, never slurs, can always complete a full sentence and is always, always honest when he drinks, too honest.

"You've had enough." I sigh, then grab his shoulder turning him to face me, I can see the pool of loss in his eyes, a whole world of darkness washing over his pupils.

"I'm sorry." I pull him into me and I hear him release a half laugh half sob against my shoulder.

"I remember everything about her. I always did, and I never understood why she left, how a mother could leave her children."

I don't have the answers he is searching for, but I know my brother, he has about thirty more minutes of talking left in him before he will want to sit in the shower to wash away his feelings and then pass out on the couch.

"Tell me about her." He winces slightly, like I've poured disinfectant over an open wound kind of wince, but he does, he tells me about our mother, the memories he has of her through his childhood eyes.

He talks about her in such detail, and I close my eyes, picturing her with each word he says, remembering her with each detail he gives.

"You know that's why I didn't like Alyssa." This snaps my eyes open, the first time we are talking about her since he stormed out all those weeks ago.

"What do you mean?"

"She looks like her, she reminds me of her." He sighs and looks away, down at the broken bottle of whiskey seeping into the cracks of the driveway.

And like a million dominos cascade down in my mind, everything clicks, the long brown hair with soft curls, the tan skin, the green eyes, maybe that's why I was so drawn to her.

"hah" I puff out in realisation. "I don't really have any memories of our mom so I was never able to piece it together."

Reece doesn't say anything. "You need to stop climbing on the roof when your drunk you know."

"I know." With that Reece gets to a standing position and I am quick to my feet to help steady him if need be. We climb down onto the deck and he heads straight for the shower as predicated. I think Reece carries more trauma from my mom leaving than I have realised, and then when my dad left he had to take on both roles. I make a mental note to talk to Reece about his life when he is sober.

I pad downstairs to my father, who is on thin ice.

"So you're a liar now too."

"I didn't lie James, you asked if he knew, and I assumed you meant about the drugs. He was older than you, he knew her more than you ever did."

"YOU DON'T NEED TO REMIND ME. I will never get that relationship, I will never get the chance at having a mother and I lost the chance at having a father when you decided you wanted to be young and in love and abandon your already abandoned children."