Lilac's Lies

56

"There's something about waking up with you in my bed, it puts every other morning to shame," I heard Roman's voice, pulling me from my sleep.

My mouth smiled, as if it was automatic, as I stretched my body. I felt sore, but I don't know why I was surprised. Passionate sex will do that to you, I suppose.

"Good morning," I let out, opening my eyes. Roman was sitting on the bed, grey track pants covered the lower half of his body. His hair was wet, he had showered. I could smell his aftershave on him, and it only made me replay what happened last night in my mind.

"How did you sleep?" Roman asked me, his hand reached out towards me. He stroked my face with his thumb, delicately,

"Like a baby, I didn't even hear you get up," I mumbled, wrapping the sheets around my naked body as I sat up.

"I was quiet, didn't want to wake you," he said, the smile on his face growing even bigger.

"How nice of you," I joked, though, I guess it was pretty nice of him. That's Roman, though, isn't it? He's always nice to me. He's never been anything but nice to me, and I loved it.

"I didn't know what your plans were today," Roman started, making me pause, "but I kind of planned something. For us, to do together."

I stilled, wondering why he did that. "I have plans with Clara. I have to go over, help her with wedding and bridesmaid stuff."

"Oh, okay," Roman didn't seem phased. "Maybe after... tonight?"

"Roman," I sighed out. "I have to go back to Sun Lakes tonight."

Roman titled his head, a confused look on his face. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I asked him, not sure what he was getting at.

"I mean, why do you have to go back? What's keeping you there? You're done school, right? Stay here for a couple of days, while we figure everything out," Roman sounded like he didn't know what my problem was, but I didn't know what his problem was.

I looked up at him, a sinking feeling in my chest as I fought the urge that my body was screaming at me. I was scared. "What do you mean?"

"Us, Lilac. That's what we have to figure out." He said it as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I don't live here, Roman," I told him, as if I was remind both him and myself of that fact.

"Oh, don't give me that, Lilac. I know you don't live here, but that doesn't mean there things we need to figure out. I think last night was proof, there's always going to be an us." Roman told me, he sounded frustrated. "We've been a part for a year, and I know nothing has come close to what I feel when I'm with you, I'm pretty sure you feel that way too. You told me that last night."

"I know, Roman, I know, but I don't know if I can." I told him honestly, once my dress was on, I collected my heels, one from either side of the room.

"No one is asking you to, Lilac, I'm just asking you to stay for a few days, so we can figure out how we can make this work," Roman told me, his voice was still soft, though I could feel the pain in it. "I let you go once without trying, I'm not going to do it again."

Can't he see? I can't be here. I don't belong here.

"We could be so great together, Lilac. You have to give me the chance. I know last time, with everything going on, you couldn't. But you can now, you just have to try. Can I pick you up later? We can talk more? I'm not giving up on this," he told me, his eyes bouncing back and forth between each of my eyes.

"You say last time... like that's something that just happened and it's over. It's not just something that happened, and I'm all better now, Roman. It was three years of hell. Three years of abuse, it's never left me. Can't you see that? When I look at you, I get butterflies in my stomach. When you touch me, I feel like I'm about to fly. But you know what the worst part is?"