playboy | jaywon

13

jungwon stares at his phone. he's been waiting for jay for an hour already, under the willow tree, where they confessed to each other. they planned this picnic as their first date since they got together and he was really excited for this but can't help but feel upset already. 

jay was running late. he was suppose to fetch him but then jay texted him, saying he has to go somewhere first. so he decided to go here on his own since jay also told him that he won't take long anyway. he's already dialing his number when he heard  foot steps walking in his direction. 

jungwon welcomed jay with a smile, only for him to receive a frown in return. jay sat across from him in the blanket, he looks bothered and upset. he didn't know what to say so he remained silent for awhile until he couldn't handle the defeaning silent anymore.

"so, what took you so long? I'm not mad, just asking since you made me wait for hours." he speaks while taking the foods he prepared from the basket. jay just looked at him like he was studying him or something. 

he was growing worried with the way jay was acting. normally, he would be all smiles and cheerful. jay would be talking about random topics with him already or would've complimented him with how cute he look on his new sweater. he would be in jay's arms already because the older see's him as huggable. 

"do you really love me?" he was surprised by the question asked by jay. 

why is he asking this all of the sudden? still, he answered. "of course I do. I wouldn't be with you right now if I don't." jungwon giggles but it sounds uneasy because of the air between them. 

"when?"

"what are you saying, hyung? I can't understand."

"when are you planning to break my heart? to end this so you can leave me already?" he didn't expect for this question to be asked.

as selfish as it sound, jungwon wasn't planning to let jay know. who in their right mind would tell their boyfriend that at first he was just playing with him for a revenge but then end up actually falling for him? he doesn't want jay to know because he's afraid jay will leave him.

"I'm... I'm sorry." but he can't hide it from him now. he doesn't know how jay found out about it but he was sure that jay knows everything now, he wouldn't be asking if he doesn't. he would only make him look stupid and lose jay's trust more if he denies it.

jay let out a small laugh before standing up. "I can't believe this."

jungwon stood up from his place too and went closer to jay, trying to take hold of him but the older swat him away.

"no, don't even dare taking a step closer from me." 

"let me explain, hyung, please." tears were already pooling jungwon's eyes.

"what's left to explain? it's clear to me now, all of these are fake and just a product of your damn plan to break me." jay raised his voice, making jungwon scared at him for a second. "you played me damn well, kid."

"can't you let me explain? please just give me-"

"no. I don't need any of that. I already know that you've lied to me so many times already, do you still expect me to believe anything that will come out from your mouth?"

"jay hyung, I love you."

jay softened for a bit after hearing this but he felt so hurt and betrayed. he can't bring himself to be happy because of what jungwon said. 

"I really do. so hyung just please--"

"well I don't."

"you don't what?"

"I don't love you. I was just playing with you just like what I was doing with everyone else."

those words felt like a knife that stabbed jungwon. those aren't true, right? jay only said that because he was upset, right? 

"please tell me you're lying." his voice crack and tears continued running down from his eyes.

jay wanted to beat himself up, seeing jungwon like this because of him. he wants to pull jungwon in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ears, that of course it was only a lie and that he does love him but he can't. after finding out the truth, his want to despise jungwon was higher than anything else.

"I'm glad to find out that you were also just playing with me. guess it was a fair game, right?" he chuckles. "I had fun with you but I'm tired of you now."

jungwon couldn't even form a sentence. he just felt weak and he's sure he looks stupid with all the crying he's doing in front of jay but he couldn't stop. 

"I guess it's time to cross you out from the list and look for someone else now."

sorry for the lack of update. I just had my birthday and classes are now starting so I was occupied. I hoped you like this heheherhaehfkzhfke