The Goodbye Note

Chapter 32

Song for this chapter is Falling Like The Stars by James Bay.

***

I read the note over and over again. A brother. I have a brother. I need to find him. It's what Emma and my mom wanted. Her biggest fear was losing me. She said as long as I was alive her death was worth it. No. I should've died along with her. But then no one would be able to find our brother. I just miss her so much. I thought days without her would get easier and easier but I was wrong. There are easy days and there are days that suck. I just wish she never died. I wish I could turn the clock back so we never went to the party. I wish she never left me. I wish she was here to help me look for our brother. I wish that these wishes could come true. I don't show the note to anyone. This seems too personal but I know that if I want to find our brother then I'll need to tell them eventually. But when I read this, there was only one person I wanted to tell. But he hasn't responded to any of my texts or calls, I'm scared that he found out that Xander and I kissed. I lock myself in the bathroom so I can have some privacy. I look over the note again, even though I have most of it memorized. A brother. Wow. I thought my only sibling died six months ago. But now, I cannot trust my dad. He had Emma killed and I need a way to prove it. My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out.

Dean Sorry I didn't answer, I was moving into my new apartment. If I send you the address could you stop by?

Em Yeah.

I kept it short. I didn't want to tell him everything over the phone.

***

When I arrive at his apartment later that day he looks happy to see me. "Listen Dean we need to talk. I forgive you for not telling me about your dad and I forgive you for waiting a few weeks to tell me-" He cuts me off with a kiss. I kiss him back but then I remember Xander. I pull away. "Let me finish." He nods. "I kissed Xander. I was mad at you and hurt and on pain killers," I say pointing to my foot. "I don't like him. I like you. I think I-" I tried to say the L- word but I just couldn't. What if he doesn't feel the same. "Anyways, I dug up a note from Emma. It says that I have an older brother. My parents had him at the end of high school but my dad made my mom give him up."

"That's a lot of information at once. I forgive you for kissing Xander because painkillers really makes you do crazy things. I kissed Lia when I was on painkillers. And if you want I'll help you find your brother. And how did that happen?" He asks as he points to my foot.

I laugh, "I got dropped at a cheer competition."

"Can we go to the beach? But not go in the water?" I nod. We don't say anything on the drive over.

When we pull up at the beach I grab my crutches but Dean stops me. "I'll carry you, we'll go faster." He gives me a piggyback ride. He starts walking toward the ocean but stops before we can touch the water. He sets up a blanket in the sand and puts me down gently. "I wanted a pretty place to do this." He pauses. "Do you remember Xander's party?" I nod. "Do you remember playing truth or dare?" I nod again. He scratches the back of his head. "Do you remember when I said I didn't love anyone?" I nod again. "Well that was then but now, well now. I, uh, well now I love this girl. She's beautiful and perfect. She's honest, kind, sassy, funny, and she's fate. What I'm trying to say is that I love you Emily. I don't know if you feel like this too but I love you so Goddamn much that I never stop thinking about you. I'm sure you're the one for me." He looks at me. I feel my eyes watering. I grab his hand.