Destined

80.

*Jayon's POV*

I woke up at Amira's house, surprisingly. Confusion filled the empty parts of my mind. The rest of my mind was still filled with the mental depression of losing my grandmother the night before.

I didn't remember driving here though. I didn't remember much after I left the hospital.

I searched for the nearest clock in her room, getting annoyed when I couldn't find one. I reached for my phone. It should have been in my pocket but I didn't feel it.

"Looking for this sleepyhead?" I hear Amira's voice. I open my eyes widely, snatching the phone from her hand when she got close enough to me.

"Jeez," she said, sitting next to me.

"Sorry," I lied. I wasn't sorry for snatching my shit, I don't even know why she had it.

"What's wrong Jayon?" Her green eyes beamed as she began to rub my hand.

"What do you mean?" I ask, stretching to sit up straight. I searched for my shirt, noticing Amira had been sitting on it.

"Did we..." I began but she stops me. "No. I seen you drinking last night in-front of the apartment complex. You were too drunk to drive and when I offered to take you home in your car you kept mumbling "No," so I brought you here. You went to sleep, we didn't touch at all. Luckily, my brother's aren't home. They'd be too shocked to see you. It's been years since you've been here," she grins.

"Where's your parents?" I asked her, ignoring her previous statements.

"Mexico, summer vacation,"

I nod.

"So what's wrong? Why were you drinking last night?"

"I lost my grandma," I tell her, my chest seemed like it was closing in when I let that out.

"Jayon, no. I'm so sorry," Amira's eyes stopped beaming. Her hold on my hand got tighter. "You lost her when?"

"Last night," I said quietly. Anger began to wash over me though. I pulled away from her, standing to my feet.

"Jayon stop! You need someone to talk too!" she tells me.

"You are not the person I should be confiding in. You are the last person to confide in about losing a loved one! You killed your own!" I yelled.

Her face dropped. Her eyes began to glisten, while her mouth quivered. "What?" She asked, looking down at the ground. "Jayon-"

"Don't Jayon me Amira. I know you killed our baby. I know I got you pregnant. You tried to hide it but I knew,"

"Jayon if you knew I was pregnant why would you leave? Did you fucking expect me to keep a baby I had no help raising? You LEFT me! I wasn't about to be a single mother!"

"You could have done anything but kill it Amira. It could have been adopted, you had options,"

"That was the ONLY option you dickhead! What other option could I have possibly had? I had 2 fucking options. I had to keep it or give it away and I wasn't going to carry a baby just to give it away either!" She screamed. Tears were flying from her eyes and I didn't even feel bad. "You are selfish Jayon! You're so fucking selfish. How dare you try to turn this situation from you to me when I was ONLY trying to help you?

I stared at her blankly.

She rubs her eyes. "Some nerve you have. The fact that we never even discussed that situation, not once, but you bring it up now. I can't believe you," she says. She looked done with me, but I knew she wasn't. She would never be.

"I'm leaving," I mumble, looking for my slides.

"Jayon, I know that you're hurt but you can't do this. If you don't talk to someone you're gonna spiral, please just talk to me," she sniffs.

Even after I had just made her cry she still wanted me to vent to her about how much my grandmother meant to me. It was aggravating but...nice. It was what I needed.

But I only wanted to vent to one person, and I knew I couldn't. That's what made all of this worse.

"Thanks," I told her before I walked out of her room.

She chased after me, meeting me by the front of her door. She stood in front of it, looking at me intensely. "I care about you way too much to let you go crazy," she said. "Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. I don't care what it is, I just need you to feel better,"

"Nothing could make me feel better right now," I told her lowly. I started to grab her arm to move her out of my way, until she said something that caught my attention fully.

"What about talking to Dj?"

"We're not on good terms Amira," I said. It was true, but if Dj knew how I was feeling right now she would have stopped everything to talk to me. I just had too much pride, even in my lowest times to try to call her at this point.

"So you're telling me that Dj wouldn't let you vent to her about how you feel right now, just because you guys are on bad terms?"

I shrugged. I knew the answer to the question though, I just wasn't in the mood to be truthful.

"Give me your phone," Amira demanded. I rolled my eyes, letting it go in her hand.

She began to search for Dj's name in my phone. When she finds the number she calls it, listening to the long rings.

I prayed that she would answer, because I really did need her right now.

Sadly though, it went to voicemail.

"I'm calling her again," Amira says.

"No," I tell her, taking my phone away. "She didn't answer the first time she won't ever answer,"

"Okay Jayon now you're just being over dramatic. She's probably busy,"

"Since when do you care about if she's busy or not?" I ask, walking to her couch.

"I don't care. I don't care about her well being at all actually, but you do and I care about you, soo," she says, following behind me.

We both end up on her couch. She began to stare at me weirdly, but I didn't feel like telling her to stop.

"You're broken," she tells me. "I hate seeing you like this,"

"Well get use to it, because this is the new me. I have no motivation to do anything now,"

"Jayon-"

"I'm serious Amira. My grandma left me too early. I'm not even 18 yet. And now I'm gonna have to celebrate being 18, without her. We always talked about what I was going to do when I was 18 and now I...I just don't know,"

"Continue what y'all discussed. Don't stop what your grandmother had planned," Amira said.

"I know. It's just gonna be difficult doing it without her,"

"What about help from your mom?"

"She's not her. I don't want her help on something me and my gramma had planned,"

"Jayon you can't think like that. What would your grandmother have wanted?" Amira touches my thigh, looking at me hopelessly.

I ignored her question. "I haven't even been home. I just wish there was something that could give me closure about this. The wound is still new. It's uncomfortable. I just wanna hear her voice one last time," I say.

It was crazy that the last time I heard her voice she was complaining about my beard.

Amira began to rub my thigh more, leaning into my shoulder for reassurance. "Just because she is not here physically, doesn't mean she can't be here with you internally," she tells me. "I think you should go home though. I don't wanna see you on the curb drinking again, that's dangerous. You're underage Jayon, you can get sent to jail for that,"

"Whatever," I say. "Thank you Amira. For doing shit you didn't have to do for me. I appreciate it," I tell her, walking towards her door once again.

I was going home. I might have had to hear shit from my mother but it didn't matter. I needed to be in my own bed for the remainder of time.